Polystyle Publications Ltd The 1971 TV Comic Annual

Published	1970
SBN (not ISBN)	85096 002 9

Starring the third Doctor and the Brigadier

• A Review by Finn Clark

A Review by Finn Clark 1/8/04

On first glance, not very interesting. I don't like these new 80-page TV Comic annuals, which have less room for non-kiddie stuff. However there's a strange undertone to a few of this year's stories and its Doctor Who content is the most ridiculous of any TV Comic annual ever. Be afraid, be very afraid...

With Beetle Bailey gone (sob!), this year's best strips are those with cartoon characters. Tom & Jerry are authentically violent and the new cover stars of the weekly magazine, while Bugs Bunny is blessed with the stellar supporting cast of Daffy Duck, Yosamite Sam, Sylvester and Tweety Pie. Next year's Who-less TV Comic annual (thanks to a defection to Countdown) also added the Pink Panther and Beep Beep the Road Runner.

The TV Terrors are still a class act, but Popeye is plodding and Mighty Moth is even more boring than usual. It's a bit of a dull year, alas. However there's something disturbing about some of these strips. Bob Monkhouse's Mad Movies gives us a story in which the Krooks are the heroes instead of the Keystone Kops, then ends up celebrating successful bank robbery! Laurel & Hardy acquire a florist's and their triffid EATS A CUSTOMER. Are they horrified? Do they call the police? Nope. Their reaction: "That's the third customer we've lost like that today!" "We just can't afford to lose trade like this!" Now I'm scared. On pp66-67 even the ultra-bland Tich & Quackers scam money under false pretences.

There are new strips. Johnny Morris's Animal Magic is certainly different, while Catweazle is goofy in a good way. If you've never heard of Catweazle, he's: (a) an 11th-century wizard timewarped to 1970 and (b) a right menace. There's a strange Avengers text story in which Steed and Tara rerun Dickens's A Christmas Carol for Mother. It's actually quite faithful to the TV series, even including a gratuitous eccentric. (He's a yoga-practising doctor who tells Steed and Tara to undress and deliberately gives himself headaches because it's so delightful when they stop.)

As for Doctor Who... Season Seven was a strange time for Doctor Who spin-offs. World Distributors followed the Bryant-Sherwin tone of the TV series and created Season 7A in <>a href=1971annual.htm>the 1971 Dr Who Annual, but TV Comic ploughed on with the insanity they'd cultivated for their wacky Troughton sci-fi. With the Doctor now played by Pertwee and stuck on Earth, the results were... surreal.

The saner Doctor Who story (i.e. merely brain-meltingly bizarre) is Castaway, painted in colour by John Canning and starring the 3rd Doctor and the Brigadier. "During the summer months, Dr Who accepts Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart's invitation to enjoy a cruise on his private yacht." Yes, you read that right. The Brigadier's private yacht. Unfortunately they fall foul of an island castaway whose whistle can command sea monsters, but Pertwee saves the day with Troughton's recorder and turns himself into a Pied Piper of the sea.

The madder Doctor Who story (i.e. stark raving bonkers and a strong candidate for stupidest Who story of all time, including fanfic) is Levitation, 'coloured' in duotone. A particularly goofy-looking Pertwee reads 'Levitation: Universal Edition' and thinks, "A weird fellow lent me this book when I visited Mars a few hundred years ago... I've been meaning to flip through it!"

Let me say that again: 'Levitation: Universal Edition'. I'm sure you can all guess where this is going.

"It's all a question of mind over body... I merely have to convince myself that I can fly and I should be able to! There! I appear to have the mental power to do it... HOW EXCITING!"

Things I learned from reading this book:

1. Bank robbery is not morally reprehensible.
2. Giant squid will obey your every wish if you whistle.
3. If a strange man invites children back to his house to play them "some really good music", this is not suspicious in any way.
4. Getting a five-foot-long swordfish's sword up your backside does not cause serious injury.
5. Hitch-hiking girls are hot.
6. It's safe to step off six-storey buildings if you've read 'Levitation: Universal Edition' and have good powers of concentration.
7. If you own an exotic florist's, there's no need to worry if man-eating plants eat your customers.