From TV Comic #690-692
Published: 1965
A Review by Finn Clark 24/1/05
Goofiness overwhelms us, sadly. The Hijackers of Thrax is a slight tale, only six pages long with the kind of plot that you'd expect at such a length - though I wouldn't call it actually bad. Captain Anastas Thrax and his pirates are hijacking supply ships bound for Venus, then selling the food and supplies to other planets. That's a perfectly good story concept. Thrax even has a space station that's invisible from Earth (a decade before the Bond films had the same idea in Moonraker), so it's all plausible and well thought out.
Unfortunately the story's credibility shoots away like an escaping balloon the moment Thrax opens his fat yap. "Settle with Cap'n Thrax, eh, m'hearty? You'll have to get up early to do that! Don't move any of you - or I'll blast you to atoms!" He even has a stripy jumper and an eyepatch. Calling his hostages "space lubbers", Thrax embodies every pirate cliche you can imagine... which given the strip's intended audience was probably intentional. Had he stuck around for a few more weeks, he'd have probably found a wooden leg and a parrot.
What's more, for the first time the strip's determination to avoid violent solutions becomes ridiculous. The TARDIS crew's weapons in defeating feared space pirates are... (a) a bucket of sand, (b) potatoes, and (c) soap. The potatoes are quite funny, but the soap is downright worrying. Our heroes have been locked up in a cell when suddenly John has an idea!
John: "This soap will come in handy."Fortunately we're not heading for a dubious shower scene. John's just smearing soap on the cell steps. Mind you, he's already proved himself to be pretty violent even when restricted to non-lethal attacks. Earlier in the story... "Don't worry - I'll soon deal with him!" Bucket of sand falls on head: "Unnnk!" "Nice work, John! I'll grab his key and get the door open!"Worried modern reader: "WHAT?"
Fellow prisoner: "What are you playing at? How can soap help us?"
John: "I'm making sure the guard gets a slippery welcome."
For the first time, there's confirmation that Gillian is John's sister. (Either that or "sis" is some kind of obscure and probably worrying nickname.) And yes, they're still calling Dr Who "grandfather".
By this point, all pretence at seriousness has long evaporated. Thus one greets with delight Thrax's demand for "ten thousand Earth pounds" or the space policeman whose helmet is emblazoned with "Space Police". Theoretically there's nothing wrong with either of those. When buying stuff online one specifies "US dollars" to distinguish them from other kinds of dollars, while motorcycle cops might indeed have "Police" written on their helmets. However somehow it looks ridiculous when TV Comic does it!
Doctor Who historians might be interested to learn that for once the date is specified. "The year 2075. A small spaceship leaves Earth with food and supplies for the colony on Venus." (A colony on Venus? Maybe they mean a space station that's orbiting the planet or something.) Curiously, this is only 44 years before Lance Parkin's suggested date for The Space Pirates in his 1996 History of the Universe.
Overall, I can't deny that I found this story highly entertaining... but for all the wrong reasons. For big Thrax-related laughs, check out Doctor Who Classic Comics 13. It's daft fun. Arguably, given its target demographic, one might even say that it does everything it was meant to do.