Big Finish Productions A Life of Crime

Written by	Matt Fitton
Format	Compact Disc
Released	2016

Starring Sylvester McCoy, Bonnie Langford, Sophie Aldred

Synopsis: Come to Ricosta! Tropical climate, untouched beaches, fabulous cuisine... and no extradition treaties. The perfect retirement planet for a certain type of "business person" --- such as Ms Melanie Bush, formerly the co-owner of the Iceworld emporium, now on the run from her former criminal associate's criminal associates... Some other former associates of Ms Bush are abroad in this space Costa del Crime, however. Not long ago, the time and space traveller known as the Doctor arrived here, alongside his sometimes-criminal associate, the reformed juvenile offender Ace. But now the Doctor's gone missing --- and Melanie Bush is about to learn that on the planet Ricosta, the wages of sin... are death.

• A Review by Thomas Tiley

A Review by Thomas Tiley 11/10/26

This story reunites the seventh Doctor with his old friend Mel --- last seen travelling with Sabalom Glitz --- and she is on the run after he settled his all his debts onto her, making her desperate and seemingly easy prey to accountants, to the criminal mobs and to conwoman Gloria (Ginny Holder) to take advantage of. Meanwhile Ace is being used by Nathan (Stephen Hagan), a member of Lefty Lonnigan's (Des McAleer) criminal gang, to further his own agenda and the Doctor, after being drugged and stuffed in a coffin, drops in for lunch, literally.

First of all, it's nice to see the return of Mel (Bonnie Langford). She does a good job of playing a plausibly older version of Mel, who may or may not have picked up a few bad habits along the way. It has a nasty new race of aliens, the Sperovore, beings that feed off potential, a point that is repeatedly made again and again by various characters to the point it becomes a bit boring (it comes across as time filler or padding, although it would make a good drinking game; you'd be smashed before part four began). The main Sperovore is played by Harry Myer, more famous for his role in the Benny audios (he is the father of her son). He plays the creature well with a distinct, but sometimes hard to understand (him and the rest of his species), voice. The creatures are big in the world of finance and banking, and there are a few jokes at the expense of banks and bankers. When they liquidate their holdings later on in the story, they turn up and start chowing down on the planet. Likewise, they literally devour their criminal clients, a rather blunt metaphor but a fun one.

McCoy and Aldred do their usual stellar job with the Doctor and Ace combo. The rest of the supporting cast are good. John Banks as the grasping raccoon-like mayor of the planet of retired criminals is a fun role, especially as he keeps trying to find new ways of charging taxes and fines on everything. Ginny Holder has a fun character, trying to trick the companions into thinking she is a newly regenerated Doctor in order to trick them into their heist. I especially liked the part where the Doctor demands his hat back and she replies that he can have it all back as 'Not even I can make beige and Paisley work.' Also, she uses her one phone call when arrested to phone her banker instead of a lawyer, a fun character who at the end vows revenge on Mel (since Mel messed up her plans and bank account). It's a fun story all around, with criminal and bank conspiracies, bluffs and double bluffs, reveals and twists. At one point, what you think is a marriage proposal turns into an arrest, there is a interesting time paradox (a cop chasing a criminal gets amnesia and injured and sent back in time to become the criminal that he ends up chasing after; it's slightly hinted at by the criminal character having a mysterious past that no one knows about), although it's slightly similar to the previous release (an anthology that also had a criminal heist and vault break-in in one of its stories that is name-dropped in this one). Also, while he doesn't appear, it does turn the character of Sabalom Glitz into a bit of a git. He wasn't exactly a nice character but he seemed a lovable type both because of his creator Robert Holmes and his actor Tony Selby. Here he lands Mel in trouble, saddles her with his debts, hangs about with violent criminals and turns out he has been feeding her potential to the Sperovore without her consent. All in all, a particular nasty take on the character, and not one that I like.

The Doctor and Ace also come across as very judgmental regarding Mel, the Doctor in particular being harsh because he thinks she has picked up too many bad criminal habits from Glitz (as Mel points out, he didn't try to stop her leaving with Glitz, with the Doctor replying he didn't think he could stop her), and Ace doesn't think much of her for worrying about money (easy enough for her, as she has the TARDIS to take her everywhere for free and doesn't have to worry about work or bills, etc; the rest of us do have to worry about money). In any case, despite all the hints and worrying, Mel turns out to be just the same goody-two-shoes we all know and love her to be (every time Glitz swindled or conned someone, she would hack his accounts so the money would get repaid). It is nice that she rejoins them in the end --- but considering the way they talk to her, it's a surprise she doesn't tell to drop her off back home.

It's a fun story. Well worth a listen to if you like the team of Seven, Ace and Mel. 7/10