|
Torchwood From Out of the Rain |
|
| Story No. | 23 | 
|
| Production Code | Series Two Episode Ten | |
| Dates | March 12, 2008 |
|
With John Barrowman, Eve Myles, Burn Gorman, Naoko Mori and Gareth
David-Lloyd.
Written by Peter J Hammond Directed by Jonathan Fox Bassett Executive Producers: Russell T Davies, Julie Gardner. |
| Synopsis: An old cinema reopens and mysterious horrors of the past return to Cardiff. Why are people trapped between life and death? Questions are asked about the Night Travellers, and what Torchwood can do to stop them. |
More Peak Practise than Twin Peaks by Neil Clarke 5/5/08
You know when you just have to write a review, in the hope of catharsis, because something's bugging you so much? This is one of them.
I haven't actually watched that much Torchwood - none of the first series, because I couldn't bring myself to care - but I've iPlayered a few this time round. They've all been flaccid, but this has to be the most irritating, seeing as it actually appeared to have potential.
But...
But - it feels as if it was made by people who have never seen, let alone made, a TV programme before. It's like a student film. Even the lighting is abysmal. How lacking in talent do you have to be to fuck up the lighting? I think all but the most ineffectual of programmes can at least make you believe that the given characters are at least in a certain place, but Torchwood even fails on that count - it never fails to feel like exactly what it is: some actors in a room, or running around with prop guns. Even the extras are noticeably shit, which is quite an achievement!
There's just NO ATMOSPHERE. Compare this to, say, HBO's (Depression-set, last-days-of-magic, carnie-drama) Carnivale (which, okay, is only really relevant here because of the travelling show element) - a show that was intriguing, intelligent, and, despite having supernatural elements, was grounded by genuine characters who you could actually recognise as human beings and care about... Torchwood, I'm afraid, is laughably small fry by comparison, but I don't see why it shouldn't be at least aiming for the level of visual beauty and expansive reality that show occupies (okay, HBO gave Carnivàle $4 million per episode to play with, which probably helps, but - I'm sorry, I'm not just being a bitch here - much as I hate American domination, British TV just doesn't measure up to the worthwhile programmes America makes; we just don't have the money, or, apparently, talent for it).
To even approach that level of individuality, a show like Torchwood needs a cohesive guiding hand, as with something like Lars von Trier's supernatural hospital black comedy/horror The Kingdom, or Lynch's Twin Peaks - both products which clearly derive from the imagination of a single personality. Torchwood lacks this completely. It's just a fucking mess, and, worse, it doesn't even have any spark of originality that could animate it. This is more Peak Practise than Twin Peaks. It is distressingly apparent there's no one guiding light to the series - and in the absence of that, it's settled for being a sub-Buffy knock-off (and it doesn't get any more damning than that).
I fail to see who actually accepts this, and thinks it's even vaguely worthy of their time. Which is particularly depressing as the elements in this episode - a creepy travelling show comes to town - should write itself. But, it's like an episode of The Demon Headmaster (even Papa Lazarou was scarier than this). I seriously mean that: it's no more adult than that, and doesn't even have the excuse that it's children's TV. There's not even a plot, for Christ's sake, let alone characters (I know the last couple of episodes have tried, with Owen), and reveals the team as the dull ciphers they shouldn't still be after a series-and-a-half.
The "plot", such as it is: supernatural baddies arrive. They kill some people. Jack does something very un-dramatic. They die. The tagged on "sentimental" bit was bollocks too, and shows a lack of bravery by being so formulaic (presumably that's an attempt to lighten the series, but it just makes it seem even more contrived; "we're gritty and adult but can still be life-affirming!").
And I can't believe the fucking wannabe-"the end... or is it?!?" moment at the bootsale. Jesus Christ.
I do feel bad slating this episode, because it has the most potential of the ones I've seen so far... but that's why it's such a shame. Something Borrowed was crap, but, sadly, far better just cos it was a stupid-but-fun bit of fluff.
It seems that to salvage some potential from Torchwood (which, to be fair, was never that promising a concept), the entire production team needs restructuring. I actually can't believe how inept the BBC is; at least Doctor Who looks better than this - but that begs the question, why can't they match that?
I suppose part of the problem is that the "fantastical" elements of the series make the modern day elements seem as boring as shit; the backdrop of bus-stops and streetlights doesn't even seem like a part of the series, it's like a default they have to make do with cos they can't afford anything more interesting. (Compare to, say, ITV's Dexter import, which makes the same sort of locales look completely beautiful.)
Also - while I'm getting this stuff off my chest - Jack is CRAP with a capital "Twat". John Barrowman couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. Perform, yeah; emote, no. He's so crashingly light entertainment (has he had work done?!), but trying to be "a real ac-tor", and failing abysmally. (In Something Borrowed, witness his uber-camp monsterification - even Nerys Hughes makes a more convincing slavering alien.)
PS Why is it even called "From out of the rain"? It only bastard rains once! And what's with Tosh "detecting the sea" in the middle of Cardiff? Who even were the Night Travellers? And why do I even give a shit?
(Sighs.)