Big Finish The Worst Thing in the World A Benny Audio Adventure

Author	Dave Stone
Released	2006
Cover	Adrian Salmon

Starring: Lisa Bowerman as Professor Bernice Summerfield

Synopsis: Benny finds herself in a desperate fight for her life. A fight so desperate that she will be forced to do something she has never done before, a horror that she never imagined she could bring herself to commit. The worst thing in the world.

• We're putting our face in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake by Joe Ford

We're putting our face in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake by Joe Ford 26/5/07

Bernice Summerfield has been through some troubles in her time. Sent to military school as an orphan, she fell down a deep shaft, killed the Cell out of mercy, witnessed Kopyion wipe out the Seven Planets, was forced to shack up with New Ace (ugh!), waded through a cavern of rotted fish, infected by a Charrl seed, shot trying to stop a nuclear strike against the Silurians, had her consciousness trapped by the President, bludgeoned Professor Fitzgerald to death, took a majestic bath, woke up in bed with Danny Pain, was fancied by Dr Watson, had a meal which turned to maggots, sabotaged the St Anthony mother ship, killed but her mind is restored to her body in Cathedral, lost her monkey friend Elenchus, lost her love Guy de Carnac, nearly lost the Doctor to Joan, was influenced by the strange nature of a pocket universe, crawled into bed with a giant turtle, was hit by shrapnel, was put into the moral dilemma of deciding to keep "feral" Kadiatu alive, got drunk on rekkar, shot Gehard to protect the Doras family, hit by shrapnel again (!!), met Jason Kane, got married, discovered her father's betrayal, skewered a soldier through the eye, flirted outrageously with Doran, detonated the Gamalion dragon, indulged in hot sex with her ex-husband, got drunk and puked, kicked a hostile Kedd-Drell off a train, had a horrific tour through Ulrich's headquarters, shagged John Lafayette, was holed up in a coffin alive, assassinated by the Freemasons and resurrected by the Ark of the Covenant, killed CATCH, observed the vicious Hut'eri and N'a'm'thuli massacre, discovered she had a brain tumour, shot Braxiatel, forced on to a respirator thanks to an explosion, was unable to enjoy a nice holiday, gunned down a group of Ferutu, ate pond puke, was trapped on a desert island, got transplanted into a man, got pregnant, attacked by fireflies, had her baby exposed in a fifth Axis prison, got a foot blister the size of "New Orpington", got blind drunk with Iris Wildthyme, was trapped on a "sinking" spaceship with some mad, bad Ice Warriors, discovered a dark mirror version of herself, met Bev Tarrant, got embroiled in Draconian politics, had her home invaded by the Fifth Axis, discovered her father was a enslaved by the Daleks, watches Peter as a grown boy kill a man, kidnapped by a Giant Robot, discovered one of the Shadow Swans, spent some time in Summer Prison, got to experience domestic bliss with Jason, tussled with Monoids, discovered the secret of the Lost Museum, experienced infants turned into Cybermats...

...but now she faces her most daunting task, a climax of such terrifying, character changing, mythic proportions that it is unlikely that life will ever be the same for anybody on the Braxiatel Collection and possibly the entire universe...

...she has to sing a song!

I find myself enjoying Dave Stone's work more and more as I get older. His initial work was a bit too wacky for my tastes (certainly Sky Pirates! was far too undisciplined and LOOOOONG) but once he transferred to the Benny series he seemed to find his groove. His love of outrageous comedy, gross-out moments and insane but intelligent ideas suited that series beautifully. So thank God when Benny was transferred from Virgin to Big Finish he came too and since then has published some of his best work as one writer who remembers wholeheartedly that the world of Bernice Summerfield is a fun place to be!

The Worst Thing in the World is another superb story from Stone, now firmly established as (pretty much) the best writer of the range. It is a superb little mystery packed full of wonderful ideas, sizzling dialogue, cheesy pisstakes, horrible deaths and a climax that will stick in the mind for a while.

The Drome is a self-contained planetoid community pumping out television programmes 26 hours a day. A sinister force has crept into the works and suddenly programmes that were entirely innocent are suddenly featuring the most horrific of deaths. Bernice is persuaded by her erstwhile ex-husband Jason Kane to investigate and she discovers a terrifying secret at the heart of the AI running the show...

Stone is ruthless as he rips through one appalling television genre after another. Scattered throughout the main plot are snippets of the shows the Drome is transmitting, albeit its actors incorporating homicidal tendencies into the show. There is a soap ("I've got news for you Dell! I'm pregnant! I'm having a baby! And it isn't mine!"), a detective drama ("Well you've got to do a bit of ducking and diving, haven't you? Bovving and weavingâ... stuff like that?"), a documentary set on the Drome ("Marvin Glass is rapidly reaching the end of his tether!"), a raunchy period drama ("Well Mr Darstrome! I feel that I am quite undone!"), a sticom ("You are a silly Dan! If you do yourself first then how are you going to do me!"). Beyond being witty and scathingly scripted, these give Lisa Bowerman and Stephen Fewell a chance to really send themselves up and the results are hilarious.

Lisa Bowerman gives another of her ace performances and treated to material of this nature really explodes to life. And who ever knew that she had such a decent voice? Stephen Fewell is as dependable as ever and his chemistry with Bowerman is so natural these days it is hard to believe that the characters started their lives in print. They really have taken on these personas and made them believable and entertaining.

But it's the song that gets the most praise here too: a piece of horrific chirpiness that shatters your faith in humanity the first time you hear it and yet gets stuck in your head for WEEKS. Shockingly, after a couple of listens you start to enjoy it. Annoyingly, you start to sing it around work. People ask you why you keep singing a song about butterflies and cake. You lose friends. You spend your life in misery and despair. Thanks Dave. No I'm kidding... it's great. A truly shocking piece of entertainment.

"Well I really have to say, as I wembed my weary way, through the world I find the going really hard..."

"And that's the truth!"

"All the people that I meet, filled with lies hate and deceit are forever trying to cheat with a marked card..."

"Say it ain't so!"

"But whenever I'm low and despair were to go, there's just one thing sure to pull me through..."

"What's that then?"

"With a little bit of luck and not a little perseverance there is something that anyone can dooo-ooooo"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake!"

"(And cake!)"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake!"

"(Yes sir!)"

"Faced with diseased rats and people puking in their hats... it's really not the kind of place to be! (No! No!)"

"My advice, if you want to keep things nice and fill the world with jollity and glee!"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake!"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake!"

"And if we're obliterous and just well kind of fluffy just think of the fun that we could make?"

"And we're never gonna kill some poor sod with a big hammer 'cause you know just what we'll do"

"HIT IT!"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake!"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy place filled with butterflies and cake!"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy, happy place!"

Yes we're putting our face, in a happy, happy, happy place!"

"Yes we're putting our face, in a happy, happy, happy place!"

Yes we're putting our face, in a happy, happy, happy, happy plaaaaaaaacccccceeeeee!"

The Worst Thing in the World is pure filler but it is absolute gold from beginning to end. I adored it and I'm sure you will too.