Today was my twice-yearly dentist appointment. I’ve been going to the same guy for nearly 30 years. He made a bundle of money from my parent’s teeth¹, but has been pissed off that he hasn’t been able to do the same with my sister and me². After the dental hygienist finished x-raying and cleaning my teeth, he popped in to give me the $28 “adult exam.”³ That’s 5 seconds of poking about in the mouth, 5 seconds of moving my tongue around, and some sage advice. To improve the quality of my teeth, I’m to start drinking 6 Mt. Dews a day and eat lots of caramel. 😉

The caramel bit is tempting, but goes against my Portion Control Project. Mt. Dew, OTOH – blech! I can’t believe I used to drink that. I’ll stick with water from now on.

1. They didn’t have great dentists growing up. Once they started going to Bentley’s their teeth got much better.
2. Dr. Bentley once took dad aside and with a real serious look on his face, told him to buy me a car when I turned 16. “That girl will never need braces,” he told dad. So, since I saved dad a bundle in dental bills, did he get me a car? Of course not. 😉
3. Before you rush off to bitch to your dentist about their outrageous prices compared to mine, I’ll state the rest of the bill. $52 for the Adult Cleaning. $35.00 for the 4 bitewings. So a total of $115.00. Gah!