The spark of life that is Elsa Frohman has left her body, but it lives on in all of us. In our memories of her. In the stories that we tell about her. We will miss her – I will miss her. But we can remember her and celebrate her life whenever we wish. And that’s what I want to do right now.
I was 24 years old, teaching physics and chemistry at a high school in Eaton, Ohio. And, most importantly, I was a Doctor Who fan. I had a new PC with gasp a modem. Sure, I had to pay for my phone calls to access the internet, but I had decided that summer of 1995 that my “vacation” was going to be getting online and trying out this Usenet forum called rec.arts.drwho, or radw as it was affectionately called by its users. And for the first time since I became a Doctor Who fan (barring one weird meeting I went to in college), I was interacting with others who loved the same show that I did.
A Doctor Who convention, Visions, was taking place in Chicago over Thanksgiving weekend that year. I really wanted to meet my new “little internet friends” (as dad called them) but I was a small town girl who hadn’t done a lot of independent travel (yet). Thankfully, one of the radw posters lived in the Detroit area and she figured we could meet part way and she’d drive me the rest of the way.
Yes, this was scary. Elsa Frohman could well be an axe murderer. But this eloquent person, who wrote interesting posts and was a fan of Peter Davison, my second favorite Doctor Who, seemed really nice online. So, with the inevitable cautions from my family, I agreed to meet up with her. Woo! I’m finally going to meet Sylvester McCoy, my favorite Doctor! Oh yeah, and meet all my “little internet friends”!
The day after Thanksgiving, my parents and sister escorted me to the mall at Fort Wayne, Indiana. Four billion people were shopping there that day, but we’d agreed to meet by the ice rink. (Wow, an ice rink in a mall!) I was very nervous, but also really excited. Deep down, I was an adventurer at heart. We watched and waited and soon a woman was coming toward us. She had short, light brown hair. (Hmm, I had short, light brown hair). She was wearing a long, red coat. (Hmm, I had a long, red coat that I wore to work). We greeted Elsa and went for lunch at a restaurant in the mall. She really didn’t seem to be an axe murderer!
When we headed out to get my luggage for transfer to Elsa’s car, we discovered we’d parked in the same general vicinity in the huge parking lot. And it turns out Elsa was driving a Dodge Shadow. (Hmm, I owned a Dodge Shadow.) Apparently once I had climbed into Elsa’s car for our departure, Amy turned to our folks and asked, “Um, was it just me?” Yes, Elsa did seem to be Trina 20 years older.
Anyway, we had a lovely time at Visions ‘95 and I did get to meet Sylvester McCoy and lots of my “little internet friends.” And while we were at the convention, Elsa and I had learned about another way that Doctor Who fans were meeting online. IRC or Internet Relay Chat. You could actually text chat with other fans instantaneously, not simply post something and hope others read it.
So around February, Elsa and I both found decent IRC clients and started meeting in a Doctor Who channel on a server that others had suggested. Everyone in the world of Doctor Who was excited because a new Doctor had been cast and a new story would air in November 1996. And it wasn’t long before other old Doctor Who fans returned to the fold and looked for places to share their love of the show.
Enter Tegan AKA DrGrace AKA Judi Grant, esquire. Judi was a Doctor Who fan of old who had heard of the new series and wanted to know more. Though she’d had interactions with Doctor Who fans in the past and was a little leery. But we loved chatting with DrGrace on IRC and eventually convinced her to join us at Visions ‘96 in Chicago, Judi’s home city. After all, if she decided we were weirdos or axe-murderers, she could just go home.
Elsa and I left on Thanksgiving this time and met up with some of our “little internet friends” – our little subgroup of fandom called Special K. After our Thanksgiving dinner at Chris’s house, we got to our hotel room to finally meet Judi in person. As soon as we entered the room, we smiled with joy to see our dear IRC friend in person. Hugs all around and the trifecta had formed.
Our group of three and other Doctor Who fans (especially the subset of fandom who called themselves the Paul McGann Estrogen Brigade or PMEB – the new Doctor was pretty dreamy) started meeting up for non-Doctor Who related gatherings. Elsa, Judi, our friend Brenda, and I went to England in 1997. Then about once a year after that. We met up in Stratford Canada, Vermont, Cape Cod, New York City, California, etc etc. Elsa and Judi started coming to my folks’ cottage at Lake Loramie each Memorial Day weekend (till my parents finally sold it). We’d come to Judi’s at the fourth of July for Taste of Chicago and sometimes met up at Elsa’s for Labor Day weekend. And our friendship blossomed.
A few years ago, Judi and Elsa decided to move in together to share expenses and be supports for each other. I thought that was a brilliant move. They bought a house together in St. Clair Shores and were going to live together in old age. Unfortunately, Cancer had other ideas. Fuck Cancer.
My friend, my big sister, has died. But as I said at the start, her life spark is still here and it resides in my heart, my memories, and my stories. And it is in your hearts, your memories, and your stories. So be sure to share those stories with your friends. Tell about Elsa and her job at the Macomb Daily. About her many lovely dogs, D’Artagnan, Floyd, Ollie, Monique. Oh, and Flynn. About the places she visited, the people she saw. About the conversations you had where you laughed till you hurt. About the thoughtful political discussions you had with her. About the stories that she wrote, the art that she made. Elsa was, and is, a good friend. I will miss her dearly. But I will remember.
