{"id":176,"date":"2004-04-29T16:33:00","date_gmt":"2004-04-29T22:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/2004\/04\/29\/feeling-sorry-for-myself\/"},"modified":"2004-04-29T16:33:00","modified_gmt":"2004-04-29T22:33:00","slug":"feeling-sorry-for-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/2004\/04\/29\/feeling-sorry-for-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling sorry for myself…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Apologies first – I don’t have any real reason to feel sorry for myself. I have a great life, a great family, great friends, a great cat, and yet, here I am almost crying. Gah – I get angry with myself when I get in this state. Thankfully, I don’t often get in this state. But here I am now, and I’m hoping maybe writing about it will help get it out of my system and maybe I can get on with my day.<\/p>\n

Dad always said that I didn’t have to do what the voices in my head tell me to do. But I wish this once I’d listened to that small, still voice back when I thought “I’ll have a party to celebrate my 33 1\/3 birthday, and this time I’ll invite my co-workers!.” The still, small voice said “But nobody will come, so why bother?” Well, the party is this Saturday. And so far, I have one couple confirmed as coming, two maybes, loads of “sorry, have something else scheduled” and even loads more of apathy (ie, no reply to the invite). Bleh, not what I need for my self esteem. But, you see, this is the way it goes with my birthday parties. <\/p>\n

I’m a New Year’s Baby. Yes, the most wonderful time to have a birthday – when everyone’s off recovering from their New Year’s Eve festivities. On my 16th birthday, I thought it would be fun to do a New Year’s Eve bowling party and invited all of my friends (which, sadly, wasn’t a whole lot, but that’s another pity party from another era). One showed. Thanks to some extended family coming, it wasn’t a pathetic little group that showed at the bowling alley. Little, yeah, but not pathetically little. I didn’t invite extended family to this gathering however… Dad will be able to come, but mom works and Amy & Rachel are in Minnesota. <\/p>\n

Gah, the waterworks are starting again. Why am I focusing on the negative? Hell, for my thirtieth birthday, judiang<\/b><\/a> flew all the way from Chicago to visit and elsaf<\/b><\/a> drove through a snow storm to meet up with us for one afternoon (poor dear worked NYE and NY). Now that’s devoted friends! And my co-workers are good people too. I had a blast at the Louisiana Boil. But just comparing the numbers that showed there to the ones supposedly coming on Saturday makes me feel even more pathetic.<\/p>\n

Ah my kitty is so sweet. He’s just come over to hang out. And since the party’s at mom and dad’s cottage at the Lake, he’s not invited. Poor kitty. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n

There’s the still, small voice in my head telling me I should just go ahead and cancel the thing. I’ll talk some with the folks tonight and have them be a voice of reason. I think I’ll bring chocolate. <\/p>\n

Once again, sorry to be a wet blanket (literally) today. Tomorrow, I’m hoping for the usual happy trina to be back. <\/lj-cut><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Apologies first – I don’t have any real reason to feel sorry for myself. I have a great life, a great family, great friends, a great cat, and yet, here I am almost crying. Gah – I get angry with myself when I get in this state. Thankfully, I don’t often get in this state. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-livejournal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=176"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pagefillers.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}