Over the years I've watched many Doctor Who? stories with people who were not fans. Some had a casual knowledge of the program and others were hostile. Based on their comments, ignoring my own opinions, here's a list of stories which appealed to them and stories which didn't. They're not in any particular order.

Ones that worked

1. The Seeds of Doom.
2. Pyramids of Mars.
3. The Horror of Fang Rock.
4. City of Death.
5. The Ark in Space.
6. Mawdryn Undead.
7. The Five Doctors.
8. The Sea Devils.
9. Terror of the Zygons.
10. The Visitation.

1. The Talons of Weng-Chiang.
2. The Invisible Enemy.
3. The Curse of Fenric.
4. Kinda.
5. The Three Doctors.
6. The Happiness Patrol.
7. The Invasion of Time.
8. The Ambassadors of Death.
9. Planet of the Spiders.
10. The Face of Evil.

Ten Possible Girlfriends from Doctor Who by Mike Morris 13/7/04

We all know the pressures on the single man/woman in society to find a partner, even though when I was a kid no-one wanted to get married, free love was still in vogue, and couples didn't sigh sympathetically when you said you were happily single. I blame Ally McBeal for this pesky change in attitude; and to make it worse, looking for one of those girlfriend-things (or boyfriend-things, depending on your gender/orientation) seems to involve lots of going out, meeting people, making small talk, trying to be civil to strangers, complex rules about when you can call somebody, and generally wasting valuable time that could be spent lying on the couch watching Invasion of the Dinosaurs. More trouble than it's worth, I reckon, so I long ago opted for a different system; this involves becoming a socially inept hermit, immersing oneself in a fantasy world and considering the merits of hypothetical relationships with fictional characters. It's far more satisfying, you know.

Anyway, the world of Doctor Who has thrown up a few characters over the years that I thought I had a good chance of going out with, if they weren't, you know, fictional (they are fictional, aren't they?). So this is a variation on those good-looking companions list; ten potential girlfriends from the wacky world of Doctor Who. And no, Peri's not in it; there are some far more interesting candidates out there...

10. The Nemesis Statue. Shiny sentient weapon made from the living metal Validium. Okay, so one wouldn't really expect to have much in common with this artefact, and conversation could conceivably become a bit laboured at times. She tends to go away for long periods too. Still, Ace said she was beautiful, and no-one would dare bully the kids or anything like that. Not when her orbit was near earth, anyway.
Top moment: How many women do you know who've destroyed the Cyber Fleet?
Drawback; long distance relationships are tricky. And let's face it; a statue that started both World Wars and killed JFK would really piss the neighbours off.
Potential: sadly, 0/10.

9. The mother from Dragonfire. Well, all right, she's obviously a complete bitch. But she's not bad looking and she seems very rich, which in my more cynical moods seems more than enough. Besides, her daughter's a dote and I reckon she needs a responsible parent.
Top moment: None, really. Okay, to be honest I've only included her because she looks a bit like this girl I used to have a crush on.
Drawback: The fact that she didn't notice a gigantic and bloody massacre happening on Iceworld indicates that she might be a touch self-centred.
Potential: Not good. 2/10.

8. The Rani. A sort of a cross between Doctor Frankenstein and Suzi Quattro. A bit into that whole science thing, and let's face it, she'd be the one wearing the trousers in any sort of relationship. Still, she's terribly attractive and she gets to take the piss out of the Doctor and the Master all in one go. Just so long as she doesn't turn anyone into a tree, I reckon she'd be great fun.
Top Moment: All together now; "Leave the girl..." Kudos for kneeing the Master in the bollocks too.
Drawback: Apparently, sociopathic scientists are difficult people to form a relationship with. Although maybe that's just because no-one's tried hard enough.
Potential: Might be a fun fling, but I can't see it happening in the long run. 4/10.

7. Enlightenment. A bit of an ice-queen, admittedly. And her natural form's a touch green and flaky for my liking. Still, when she turns into a human she's gorgeous, and what with her being an android and all she'd stay that way forever. Plus, if she moaned about you watching football or something, you could just unplug her for a bit and rearrange her limbs into amusing poses.
Top moment: Her definition of love as "the exchange of two fantasies."
Drawback: It's a bit of a silly name. And she's not exactly a barrel of laughs.
Potential: Obvious difficulties but I reckon it might be crazy enough to work. 5/10.

6. Wrack. Okay, so she's terrifying. And amoral. And she seems to laugh a lot at killing people. Frankly, confront me with people like that and I turn into a quivering wreck that will do pretty much anything they say. Still, though, she's got a certain something...
Top moment: her interrogation of Turlough.
Drawback: well, the whole thing about her being evil, obviously. Bit of an age gap too.
Potential: Realistically it would be difficult, but what the hell. I believe in a thing called... no, never mind. 6/10.

5. Todd. She's smart, good-humoured, kind, sensitive, and she flirts with the Doctor! Come on, what more could you want from anyone? Well maybe ten to twenty years less in the age stakes, but why be superficial about these things? I think she's just great.
Top moment: "So many questions, Doctor."
Drawback: she fancied a Time Lord, and even got to hold hands with him. I can't compete with that.
Potential: Okay, my first five choices were probably a bit of a long shot, but now I think I'm being more realistic. Oh yes I am. 7/10.

4. Professor Rachel Jensen. She's smart, she's sarcastic, and she's just wonderful. She just edges out Toos from the Robots of Death, who by an astonishing coincidence (known as the Michael Sheard Effect) is just like her, only younger and she screams more. Okay, so she seems a bit cynical, and her job would probably come first, but I'd be prepared to make that sacrifice.
Top moment: not many people can be attractive while saying the words "do you think I'm enjoying finding out that the painstaking research to which I've devoted my life has been superseded by a bunch of tin-plated pepperpots?" But Rachel Jensen can.
Drawback: I don't like begonias. I'd also be a bit afraid of her.
Potential: Now we're really talking. 8/10.

3. Ray. Lovely Welsh girl who wears silly big bows in her hair, says things like "he's been ionised" and drives motorbikes, but for some reason is obsessed with a dull mechanic. God love her, she's as thick as two short planks too. But she's funny, and adorably naive, and aw, she's so cute. She'd always cheer you up, Ray would.

Top moment: whenever she says "he's been ionised." Bless.
Drawback: I lived in Wales for two long years. I'm not moving back there for anyone.
Potential: I would walk five hundred miles, and I would walk five hundred more (just not to Wales, that's all). She's lovely. 9/10.

2. Anita. Stunningly beautiful Spanish lady, who's kind and sensitive and loyal and resourceful and good-humoured and intelligent and, oh, marvellous. Quite what she sees in Oscar Botcherby is anyone's guess; but if she can fall for him, it makes me think I'd have an outside chance.

Top moment: the way she coaxes Oscar to look for the plane crash is hilarious.
Drawback: I can't really think of any, now that Oscar's out of the picture... I suppose it would be a bit of a chore learning Spanish. Although I do know all the lyrics to La Bamba.
Potential: Such stuff as dreams are made of. 10/10.

1. Susan Foreman. Oh, lovely Susan Foreman. She always gets overlooked in these good-looking companion things, so maybe it's just my quirky tastes, but I think she's uniquely, outrageously beautiful. So she got a few crap scripts - so bloody what? She not only has the most compellingly gorgeous face, she's all playful and giggly and naive and funny, and I find her energetic and uplifting and sod all you people who call her a useless screamer! She's fun! She's great! She's stunning! Oh, I'd marry her tomorrow.
Top moment: when she gets off with David Campbell by just tilting her head in that irresistible coquettish come-hither way. The lucky Scottish git.
Drawback: Curiously fragile ankles mean you'd want a pair of crutches on standby. One would also have to put up with over-bearing in-laws who whip her off to the Death Zone without so much as a by-your-leave. But these are mere trifles.
Potential: Some people tell me that I'm a fool to pin all my romantic hopes on a fictional character from a forty-year old television programme suddenly becoming real and walking into my life. I call these people quitters. 11/10.

Ten things fans say that I don't really get by Rob Matthews 23/7/04

Having previously railed against the terrible misconceptions about Doctor Who harbored by that dratted general public (Christ, I read the phrase 'wobbly walls' yet again today in an Eccleston interview), I turn my attentions now to things frequently said by fellow fans say which fail to hit home with me:

1. 'Sigh... the new series won't be the same without the Daleks...'
   In circulation recently after the beeb failed to reach an agreement with the estate of Terry Nation over use of the pissed-off pepperpots, this is likely to be an important contributing factor in the already dismally inevitable 'Not as good as it used to be' argument about the RTD-Eccleston series. Based on an unfortunate underestimation of what Doctor Who can be (a show with virtually limitless potential that can delve into the furthest, infinite reaches of time, space and storytelling) mixed with a stubborn idea of what it should be (a series of endless remakes of Troughton/Pertwee/Baker episodes where you can't go more than three stories without tripping over a Cybermat or skidding on a Rutan). I'm tired of the lazy suggestion that the Daleks should be included 'for the fans', and that 'the fans' will be disappointed they're not there - I'm a fan and I'm fucking glad the Daleks aren't going to be in the new series! Now RTD and co are going to have to get off their fat arses and come up with something original. Or just bring back the Cybermen, of course.
   (note: I do actually like the Daleks, when they're done right, I just don't believe Doctor Who depends on them)
2. 'Sigh... the Delia Derbyshire theme music should never have been replaced...'
   I like the Peter Howell arrangement! I think it was a breath of fresh air after about eleven years of the Derbyshire version. All that 'AIIINNGGWWW!!! Dang-Na-Nang! Dang-Na-Nang!' stuff still gives me goosebumps. I like the Doctor's face coalescing out of stars, come to that. And that sinister whispery sounding bit where the story's title comes on. And where it all goes upbeat in the end credits - so much more energising than the earlier eerier version.
3. 'Sigh... really Doctor Who ended when Tom Baker fell off that gantry...'
   Actually, no it didn't. It's more likely the case that your own interest in it did. And it's been very kind of you to stick around with us for the twenty-four years since Logopolis ended, we've enjoyed hearing from you about how it's not as good as it used to be. But really, don't let us detain you. There's a rumour going about that Christopher Eccleston isn't Tom Baker either, you know.
4. 'Vengeance on Varos is probably Colin Baker's best performance...'
   This is one that's arisen alongside the odd phenomenon of Vengeance on Varos being elevated to 'classic' status among what seems to be the majority of fans. It's particularly strange to me, because while I'm a huge, huge fan of Colin Baker, this is the only story of his where the criticisms that his Doctor is both too violent and a bit of a twat seem even slightly justified. I still blame the script for that more than anything, but for everyone to be claiming that what I think is one of his weakest performances is actually one of his best... argh, it just hurts my brain! It's like an extra twist on the staggering bafflement I feel at TV Colin's unpopularity in general.
5. 'The new series needs to match Buffy...'
   Oh, fuck off. Steven Moffat in particular made this claim on the BBC website - a rather worrying comment from the man who tried with that Coupling show to 'match' the godawful Friends. Buffy's a show I can't watch for more than fifty seconds without being repulsed by its smugness and switching over. You really want to emulate that?
6. 'Sigh... Doctor Who lost some of its magic with the departure of Dudley Simpson...'
   Another one from the blue rinse brigade (I'm convinced from the things Joe tells me about it that Outpost Gallifrey is some sort of online sewing circle for malign old biddies) . Dudley Simpson's contributions were in fact becoming incredibly tired by season 17 - I mean, just feel that ennui setting when you listen to the opening bumdy-plonk of The Horns of Nimon, which sounds exactly like the opening bumdy-plonk of the opening of the majority of stories from seasons 15-17. Okay, the synthey themes of the early eighties seasons were a double-edged sword, but when they actually worked (Full Circle, Traken, Logopolis, Earthshock) they were a hell of a lot better than anything Mr Simpson would have come up with for the same stories.
7. (Various remarks about the Doctor's gorgeous companions and their effect on pubescent libido)
   Now it's my turn to say 'Sigh...', for I understand these remarks in theory only. With only Turlough and - blark! - Adric to choose from amongst the male companions of my youth, the idea of watching Doctor Who with a box of Kleenex close to hand is so entirely alien to me as to be unthinkable.
8. 'It's ridiculous that the charge against the Doctor could be changed seemingly on the whim of the prosecuting council'
   This one re: Trial of a Timelord. While I agree that a few more lines should have been given over to explaining this, it does make sense from everything we've seen of the Timelords that their 'justice' system would be heavily biased in favour of the powers-that-be. When Drathro in the same story refers to Gallifrey as 'an advanced civilisation', the Doctor archly responds "In some ways" - there's really no reason why a power-mad insular government like theirs shouldn't have a warped idea of what constitues a fair trial. Like I say, the script should've given it greater clarity, but it's not that unbelievable in itself.
9. 'My Who is better than yours'
   You know the sort of thing - little nasty sideswipes at Pertwee or McCoy in the middle of reviews of other Doctor's stories. I've done it meself, re: Pertwee and I've been quite, quite wrong to do so. It's just fostering daft tribalism and simplified discussion, like the silly NA vs EDA argument. John Seavey wrote a nice, crisp article on Factionalisation in fandom which addressed this subject - fans who claim the books are 'proper' Who and the audios aren't, or vice versa, or who claim anything on TV before John Nathan Turner became producer is 'proper', and afterwards it was all just a dream (stand up Gareth Roberts), or that it wasn't 'proper' from the moment Colin Baker took the role, because they didn't like his coat etc. While I was in agreement with Mr Seavey's points, I found it odd that the evident anger which had inspired him to write the piece appeared to have been provoked by something I myself had written on fan response to the upcoming new series. Which frustrated me, because the very point I'd been trying to make was that fans were IMO unfairly elevating televised Who to the status of 'Proper', and implicitly dissing everything else as stopgap material. What I was trying to say was that Who in other media deserves just as much credit as the TV series; it was an anti-factionalist argument and I was trying to champion offscreen Who as equal to the onscreen stuff, because I think it's unfair that it's not thought of that way - particularly when the new series will doubtless build on what writers like Paul Cornell and Robert Shearman have achieved in their fiction/audio play output. So to then be misinterpreted as some kind of bibliophilic extremist was, well, annoying. I'm not trying to pick a fight or something, but if you're against tribalist thinking in Who fandom, why wilfully oversimplify an argument along tribalist lines?
10. 'Beryl Reid in Earthshock was bizarre casting...'
    Was it? I never really noticed. Then again, the only other thing I've ever seen her in was a kid's show called 'Moon Cat' or something. So to me as a kid it was no more odd than that woman out of Playschool being in Resurrection of the Daleks. Or Peter Davison singing the theme tune to Button Moon...

Top Ten stories that non-fans have loved by Joe Ford 4/8/04

Oh yes I am not above coercing my mates into experimenting with Doctor Who and despite the dated nature of the series in some of their eyes we have had many nights of fun and frolicks watching it together. Funnily enough anyone who has not attempted to share my greatest passion has not remained a friend for too long! And it is fascinating to see which stories have been "hits" in their eyes because sometimes they just don't correlate with what we anal fans suggest are "classics". For compiling this list I must thank the following people for their assistance: Paul Quinn, Hazel and Dave Keen (and baby Amber!), Luke Cooper-Berry, Matt Dillon and Sue, Simon Harding, Mark Potter, Alec Wall, Christine Ford (my mommy!), Christina Overy and Uncle Brian (whose mocking of the series production values haunts me to this day!)

1. The Chase
   Always a popular choice, especially when you have few drinks down your throat. All except three of the above watched and thoroughly enjoyed this budget-bursting epic! Of all the entries on the list I cannot think of any other that I have enjoyed so much with friends which admittedly we spent mocking its shortcomings but in a surprisingly affectionate way. It is astonishing to think that a 1960s six parter is considered to have more charm than anything from the 80's (but I'll get to that in my Top Ten stories non-fans have loathed). The bollock monster has gone down in infamy and I had to rewind those kaleidoscope Dalek time ship FX again and again as they caused such spontaneous laughter. Astonishingly Billy Hartnell, the eternal child Doctor is a huge hit. And its weird how everyone who watches it compares the Dalek/Mechanoid fight to Batman style FX.
2. The Mind Robber.
   I remember watching this with friends on my fourteenth birthday; we were all huddled around a TV set as the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe took on all manner of fairytale monsters. I'll never forget the reaction when my mum turned it off for dinner... ten thoroughly pissed off kids! Luke watched this with me when he was waiting to have a particularly unpleasant conversation with his girlfriend and it really took his mind off what was coming up! Plus Simon LOVED it, especially Jamie who he want to strip nude and cover in taramasalata and lick it all off. The TARDIS breaking up causes gasps of astonishment, Zoe's screaming much derided and the clever games and tricks in the land of fiction regularly used to bamboozle people in polite conversation (especially the "Adam and Eve and pinch me" gag).
3. The Green Death
   Ignoring the terrible CSO for a second this has to be one of the most emotional Doctor Who stories ever and Simon and Hazel enjoyed it very much as such. I can still remember the evening she watched this with me, laughing and crying in equal measures. Simon adores Jo, so to see her go was especially traumatic for him and he always grabs a tissue for the last few scenes. The giant fly also causes a dramatic reaction... one of uncontrollable laughter! The bicycle reflector eyes were a particular source of amusement.
4. Genesis of the Daleks
   A particular favourite with all my boyfriends, mirroring that hysterical scene in Queer as Folk as the guy Vince is trying shag wants to watch this instead! Martin wanted to watch it every week when it was repeated on BBC 2 and Simon was converted into a semi-fan just watching the first two episodes. Nobody really laughed at this one; it was the gob smacking ending that was the main source of conversation.
5. The Talons of Weng-Chiang
   A hugely popular entry for its glossy production values and sparkling script, this was apparently a good choice in a university dorm one evening when the booze had run out. Simon adores the dialogue and regularly quotes the fabulous Henry Jago ("By dash, me optics!" being his particular favourite!).
6. The Five Doctors
   Oh spit not this one! Non-fans love this one don't they? Maybe it's because its so laid back and lazy it makes for easy watching or perhaps because it breaks you into the series by introducing you to 20 years of continuity or maybe it's just the generally okay production values. To my shame Hazel adores Tegan and her bossy attitude (and has been known to quote her dialogue to this day, over in Germany!) and my mum regularly reminds how totally gorgeous Peter Davison is (bleugh). The Raston Warrior Robot is always a highlight.
7. The Two Doctors
   A particular favourite of Matt, Sue, Hazel and Simon. Luke could never understand why they were all running around in Spain (for an intelligent chap the plot utterly eluded him). Hazel fancies the pants off of Colin Baker and his coat, despite fan opinion, is the main reason both Simon and Sue both fell in love with this incarnation and wanted to see more. Its another story that is quoted incessantly (Simon loves "What if a Sontaran answers the door?", Matt loves "Naturally don't expect any thanks!" and everyone adores "Shepherd's Pie! A Shepherd... can't we walk quicker?"
8. Trial of a Time Lord
   A real kick in the teeth for all of those Trial bashers out there but this is often requested to be watched! The guest stars are much appreciated and the first shot greeted with much suspicion (being strangely as good as Star Wars that they are all far more used to) but the end result is often greatly enjoyed. Colin Baker's argumentative, childish Doctor is praised and the exit of Peri a particular high point. Plus the revelation that the Valeyard is the Doctor and that excellent final shot seem unusually scary and thoughtful.
9. Remembrance of the Daleks
   I have had to watch the Ace/Dalek scrap so many bloody times thanks to my precious Goddaughter Amber and her love of all things Dalek that I may end up talking like one soon! As I mentioned in my review this is one that we sat and watched as a family and it was astonishing to see everybody enjoying it for different reasons (nostalgia, hardware, Daleks!). It's one of those rare Doctor Who stories you can show to ANYONE without fear of piss taking.
10. Greatest Show in the Galaxy
    Often enjoyed but rarely understood, it's a real case of style over substance but the film look of the story means it is highly accessible to most non-fans. I leant this to my pal Cathy and she loved it! Hazel thought Bellboy was a bit of all right and Mark re-watched it continually until the tape ran out! Christina remembers watching this one when she was a kid and it scared her so much she never wanted to watch telly again. Mind you Simon and Matt loathed it as one cannot much stand Sylvester McCoy and the other cannot enjoy a piece of merchandise unless SFX have given it the all clear!

Top Ten stories that non-fans loathed by Joe Ford 13/8/04

Of course there is always the flip side of the coin and sometimes no matter how much you go on about the indefinable magic; script over production values non-fans just cannot understand why you would enjoy such utter rubbish. Here is the list of the gems that embarrassed me so much during the years... most of which I disagree with totally...

1. Tomb of the Cybermen
   Oh come on we all know this one is a bit of joke, right? Simon surely thought so when he spent a blissful afternoon laughing his head off with me over its gloriously naive production values, naff writing and dodgy performances. The Cybermats with the huge bulging eyes were a particular highlight.
2. Inferno
   Sad but true, this epic story bored Hazel senseless and she begged me to turn it off after four episodes. She's a big fan of fluffy storytelling and this doom-laden adventure with its healthy dose of realism was not her cup of tea at all. Even Simon, who thinks Pertwee is the cream of the crop, found this one a struggle... laughing himself silly when the Benton/Primord bursts in front of the screen! Interestingly this was not popular on original transmission either, receiving especially poor ratings... weird to see the same pattern occurring two decades later. And yet we all know it's a bloody classic, don't we? Obviously we are fed too much rubbish these days that a well-written and acted piece like this can be dismissed as a bore-fest.
3. The Sea Devils (or the monster whose eyes don't move)
   My dear Uncle will forever taunt me with that saying. There was I desperate to see some old Doctor Who repeated generously on BBC 2 and in the background is half my family taking the piss out of the music, monsters, Pertwee's ham, Jo's costume, stock footage... even now I cannot look at it without wincing. It took me about five years to admit to myself that, of course, they were all perfectly correct. Bastards!
4. The Pirate Planet
   I borrowed this to my pal Matt who is a huge fan of Douglas Adams thinking he would adore its dizzying mix of clever ideas and absurd jokes. After watching one episode he phoned me up and left a message on the machine. It began with "Joe, we have to talk..." Never a good sign and he subsequently ripped the four parter to pieces. Needless to say Pralix truly, truly annoyed him!
5. Logopolis
   Another one which I had to turn off... borrowed this from a mate and Hazel and Mum were falling asleep come episode three. Even when I told them Tom Baker was going to die soon all they could do was shrug and ask if we could watch Eastenders. Hazel's love for Tegan waned considerably when she saw her flapping about in the TARDIS corridors. And Mum loathes Adric...
6. Earthshock
   The story where Simon decided he hated Peter Davison's portrayal of the Doctor... he kept clutching his head during this and screaming "The Pain! The Pain!" Mum could not understand why there was so much music that sounded like farting and summed the whole story with "a bunch of stereotypes running around with guns". She yawned during the death of Adric.
7. Time and the Rani
   Oh geez Louise did I get a grilling when I watched this one with Si, mum and Hazel! I'd just bought the damn thing when they coaxed me into playing it since there was sod all else on... and that night will live in infamy! Bonnie's screams, the dialogue, McCoy's pratfalling, the garish colours... they all agreed that it was surprising the show wasn't cancelled on the spot. It was one of those times when I was trying desperately to excuse the many shortcomings during the production but stopped even trying somewhere during episode three through lack of breath and ideas.
8. Paradise Towers
   We watched ten minutes and it was turned off for me. Enough said.
9. The Happiness Patrol
   Universally loathed amongst my pals, despite my protestations of good performances and music. Luke laughed his head off when I was trying to explain away the political allegories, Mum couldn't get over the fact that Sheila Hancock would stoop so low and even Simon thought it was too camp (this for the benefit of the audience is called a miracle!). Admittedly there were so many scenes I could not excuse, "Doom pipe!", "Pimple head!", the laughing scene... further evidence for my pals that the show was on an roll downhill in quality in its twilight days.
10. Ghost Light
    "Look at these microbes!" is a text I regularly receive from Luke who after enjoying the first two episodes could not stomach the ultra-camp Light in episode three. Simon (who doesn't enjoy anything with McCoy and Aldred in it) appreciated their (for once) understated performances but didn't have a figging clue what was going on. Although this is one story he highlights as why the series was dragged under he enjoyed it more than Battlefield which he called the TV equivelant of anal warts.

Top ten title sequences by Rob Mattthews 15/8/04

Twenty-six years of TV Who, and ten title sequences to go with 'em. Not including the variant twangy ones that cropped up in the middle of Frontier In Space or whichever story it was. Here's a rundown in order of personal preference:

10. The Horror, The Horror (the '97 Telemovie)
How anyone could regard this limp, weak tea effort as even marginally effective is beyond me. The visuals are adequate, if predictable (rather resembling those of the titles in Richard Donner's Superman), but the familiar theme tune is drained of all life by a malevolent lamia of feeble orchestration.

9. The Torn Troughton (seasons 4ish-6)
More intricate and a little brighter looking than the Hartnell version, this now features the Doctor's countenance. And - eww! - his face then gets torn to bits for some reason. The slightly more revved-up theme tune is a nice development.

8. Simplicity Itself (seasons 1-4ish)
Is it a rocket taking off? A sudden tear in the very fabric of, like, everything? Who knows, for now we are trapped in a chiaroscurotic (ahem) arena of shapeless blobs... and now they're becoming symmetrical... and the title of the show is revealed as... Doctor... OHO?! No wait, it's WHO. Doctor Who! Well, you've got to hand it to them, the spiral/tunnel symmetrical effect certainly lasted the course.

7. The Camp as Christmas Cornucopia vs. Domic Glynn (season 23)
The gloomier version of the theme tune is okay, though there is a definite whiff of Bontempi about it. However, it's unsuited to both the jangly visuals and the Trial of a Timelord season itself. What was needed here was something proud, something expressive of the show's power. But rather than be big, bold and impressive, it sounds tinny, shy and depressive, as if the Grade-bullied series has already given up the ghost.

6. Plastic Bag: A Journey Through Pertwee (season 11)
Apparently an attempt to emulate the zippy trippy light fantastic bit in the Kubrick masterpiece, this particular recce through, I'm told, a special effects-distorted plastic bag lasted just one season. It's the only one to feature a full-length head-to-foot image of the Doctor and a Jon Pertwee-shaped time tunnel, you know.

5. Plastic Bag: A Space/Time Odyssey (seasons 12-17)
A variation on the latter Pertwee title sequence, but with some kind of dimensional plughole effect added at the beginning, this was the longest serving of all the title sequences. Effective, nice colour palette, but I can't really get worked up about it for some reason. Perhaps it's because Tom Baker's face looks uncharacteristically spooky - why is the funniest Doctor the only one not to show even a flicker of amusement in his opening mug shot?

4. The Camp as Christmas Cornucopia (season 22)
A jazzed-up version of the seasons 18-21 titles, I must confess to an enormous fondness for this ghastly-looking explosion in a tinsel, glitter and kaleidoscope factory. Like great trays of Proustian Madeleines the rays of light beaming out from Colin Baker's head transport me instantly back to another time and another me.

3. The Blobby Blue Upstart  (seasons 24-26)
The only title sequence to completely depart from the tunnel/spiral template and fiddle about with the traditional orchestration so that that upbeat bit usually reserved for the end titles now makes an appearance in the opening ones, this adds up to a nice visual correlative for the unique approach Andrew Cartmel brought to the show. It feels freed up somehow. And Keff McCulloch's music actually doesn't suck on this occasion - the theme tune is kind of eerie but sort of welcoming too. Even odder, it's actually better than what Dominic Glynn came up for for season 23, and the rather dull arrangement Mark Ayres composed for the Curse of Fenric soundtrack CD. Sylvester's winking at us is a quirk too far, of course, but I do like the logo, which manages to both bold and daft at once, and again is thus perfectly suited to the Cartmel approach.

2. The Two Ronnies at Lightspeed (seasons 18-21)
Seemingly inspired by the whooshy star-splat of the Millenium Falcon going into hyperspace, and oddly resembling the title sequence of The two Ronnies (bar the floating pairs of specs), this is fab. Peter Howell's high-octane arrangement of the classic theme tune made even the dullest of stories seem exciting - and let's face it, it had it's work cut out in the Davison years. The neon tubing-looking logo is the most overtly dated of them all though, screaming 'EIGHTIES' at the top of its Kate Bush-like lungs.

1. The Geometric Lava Lamp (seasons 7-10)
It was the case for a while that all official DW output carried the diamond-shaped logo synonymous with the Baker years - but that's all changed since the telemovie, and by grim Darwinian mechanics the simple-yet-distinctive legend of this title sequence has risen to the top of the heap. Quite rightly too, I reckon; all the Who logos subsequent to this one seem to be trying just a mite too hard by comparison. And the visuals themselves are the most chilled-out cool of the bunch - simple and instantly identifiable, colourful without being gaudy. A blue-toned variation on this, as used for the Shalka webcast (or the twenty seconds I saw of it), would be a welcome look for the new series.

Best of You Know Who by Steve Scott 31/8/04

This is bowing to the inevitable somewhat I know, but it's worth noting exactly which Who stories get my dander up.

Firstly, my all-time favourite:

Revelation of the Daleks

And the remainder, in no particular order:

The Leisure Hive

Carnival of Monsters

The War Games

Vengeance on Varos

Spearhead from Space

Snakedance

The Deadly Assassin

The Trial of a Time Lord

The Caves of Androzani

Honourable mentions must go to:

The Ark in Space, The Time Warrior, The War Machines, Paradise Towers, Frontios, Day of the Daleks, The Two Doctors, The Greatest Show in the Galaxy, Four to Doomsday and Doctor Who and the Silurians.

The top ten remarks made on DVD commentary tracks by Rob Matthews 1/9/04

1. 'Oh, I just about remember him. He was lovely'
2. 'You looked wonderful. (pause) Oh, and, er, still do!'
3. 'Christ, look at the size of my nose/eyebrows/etc!'
   (usually from a performer - Janet Fielding's tops at this one)
4. 'Were there other Time Lords/TARDISes/monsters, then?'
   (typically from a director who's not exactly up on the history of the show)
5. 'Oh... ahh... ohh... tch....'
   (mild, slightly ironic reactions to what's happening on screen)
6. 'I remember when I was in something better with a famous actor...'
   (like Tom Baker reminiscing about working with Joan Plowright on the Power of Kroll commentary. Often far more interesting than the story at hand)
7. 'Was this Bob Holmes?'
   (of course, given his heavy DVD presence, the answer's always yes)
8. 'Did Graham Williams produce this?'
   (not fucking likely if it's a UK release)
9. 'I've had him'
   (or words to that effect; this comes during the end credits)
10. 'It was very innovative for its time. Course, it's utterly worthless shit now'
    (usually from a director)

Top Twenty Doctor Who Stories by Brian Klein 7/9/04

My Favorite 10/10 episodes are:

1. The Caves of Androzani: The best Robert Holmes story, the best Peter Davison adventure, and just about an all time classic of the entire series. The cliffhanger to episode three is one of the absolute best, and the show has yet to produce a better regeneration story (Logopolis and The War Games barely come close). No other story in Doctor Who's 26 year run has ever surpassed the excellence, emotion, or superiority of this story. Not one!
2. Genesis of the Daleks: Terry Nation's best Dalek story, and Davros is an excellent creation (every future Dalek story that came after had Davros in it). The Daleks creation is expertly crafted and the "Do I have the right?" scene with Tom Baker is superb. Oh and between this, Caves, War Games, and The Deadly Assassin, who says quarry's aren't great locations for stories?
3. Horror of Fang Rock: Terrence Dicks sure can do scary stories, and this is one of the series best. A horror story based in a lighthouse could have failed miserably, but Dicks succeeds in making this story excellent, with a great amount of atmosphere. The Rutan is so creepy (despite the fact that it is crippled in the story, remember its ship crashed, so that could explain its slow, draggy motion. It was injured , but like any good soldier it still carried out its mission). Tom Baker and Louise Jameson, along with the rest of the cast are excellent.
4. The Deadly Assassin: The best Fourth Doctor and Master story. This probably is Robert Holmes best story of season 14 ( and yes I am aware of Talons of Weng-Chiang, which doesn't even come close to this). Why couldn't they have let Tom Baker have a complete season companionless? He would have been great as a solo Doctor. Oh, and this the best conflict between the two rival Time Lords.
5. The War Games: The Epic masterpiece of the Second Doctor. This is excellent sci-fi. See my review.
6. E-Space Trilogy: Full Circle/State of Decay/Warrior's Gate. The E-space trilogy was an excellent idea, although I didn't think that Full Circle was all that great, I still like it on the whole. State of Decay is my favorite story of the three.
7. Resurrection of the Daleks: Eric Saward's last great story (before he himself got poisoned by the "spectrox" which would be his undoing in the form of The Twin Dilemma, which led to the nightmare of Season 22. His scripts after Resurrection would contain a lot in common with the Sixth Doctor's persona: There were arrogantly tasteless, tacky, childish, and just plain bad). Resurrection has a great plot, with plenty of action, and a great performance by Peter Davison (the confrontation scene between him and Davros is classic). How anyone can give illogical, childish trash like Revelation of the Daleks a more favorable opinion over Resurrection of the Daleks, is beyond me. At least the Doctor is involved in the plot of Resurrection, unlike in Revelation where the story pretty much goes on without the Doctor. Tegan's departure at the end is probably the best and the most real of the companion departures (barring Sarah's from The Hand of Fear).
8. The Seeds of Death: The best Ice Warrior story, and probably the second best story of the excellent season 6. This and The War Games showed how great the Second Doctor was. Alan Bennion's Slaar is by far the best of the Ice Lords that he played.
9. Inferno: Pertwee best from the slightly overrated season 7, although The Ambassador's of Death is a close contender.
10. Pyramid of Mars: A excellent story with one of the show best villains, in the form of Suketh the Destroyer (a great counterbalance to Tom Baker's Fourth Doctor).

1. Terror of the Autons (much better than Spearhead from Space, and Delgado is excellent as the Master.)
2. City of Death (this story brought me back to Doctor Who, after a lengthy absence.)
3. Earthshock
4. The Three Doctors
5. Day of the Daleks
6. The Mind Robber
7. The Atzecs
8. The Invasion of Time (yes, I do like this story, a lot!!)
9. The Black Guardian Trilogy (Mawdrwn Undead, Terminus, Enlightment)
10. Return of the Master (The Keeper of Traken, Logopolis, Castrovalva)

Top Ten SF shows recommended to Doctor Who fans by Joe Ford 30/9/04

10) Blake's Seven

A good reminder that Doctor Who is not in fact the cheapest looking television out there. In fact pick any episode of Blake's Seven and compare to the shoddiest of Who and even Timelash comes out smelling of roses. However despite some of my friends' rather unkind dismissal of this show on the standard of its season one and its look, I could point to at least ten absolutely classic pieces of television in the series four year run (the heist episode Gold is pure... well, gold!, Orbit contains the ruthlessly brilliant scene where Avon hunts his friend Vila through the ship that is trying to break orbit but needs to lose some weight to achieve it, Blake the series finale is one of bleakest and gob smacking endings to any TV show where the entire cast is wiped out...). Not only that it shares many of its production staff with Doctor Who, Chris Boucher, Terry Nation and Robert Holmes are huge contributors; Dudley Simpson is responsible for the music. Many of the regulars have appeared in Doctor Who (Paul Darrow in Timelash, Gareth Thomas in Storm Warning, Micheal Keating in The Sun Makers) and you can pick any old episode and you will see a guest star it has shared with Doctor Who. The writing was decidedly uneven but it took more risks than Doctor Who, which made it occasionally dangerous, compelling television. Plus Servalan is one of the all time TV baddies, mixing sex appeal and pure evil to sultry effect.

9) The 10th Kingdom

It's a terrible shame this mini series did not get more recognition because it is precisely the sort of thing we need on television in this post Doctor Who era. The gaping hole in the television schedule during the nineties was escapism, kids need it, adults love it and this show had in spades. Like Doctor Who it was a glorious mixture of mundane reality and high concept ideas (a girl and her father escape their dull New York lives for an adventure in fairytale land) and sheer breadth of imagination that is injected into the script is breathtaking. This could almost be a really good Graham Williams story with some succulently over the top characters, comic dialogue and clever plotting... as the three heroes chase the magic mirror through the nine kingdoms so they can get home they encounter homicidal trolls, a prison for fairytale characters, magical gypsies, wolf men, talking magic mushrooms, snow white locked up in a block of ice... it sounds remarkably twee but the show is peppered with shock moments of a more graphic nature to make sure you don't get too cosy. There's time for a murder mystery in bo-peep land, a delirious romance, a massacre in the woods and a trip into Dwarf Mountains. There is even a stupendous twist at the cliffhanger to episode four that turns the story on its head. Give a go, just for the majestic opening sequence where New York transforms into a fairy tale world.

8) The Avengers

Bit of an obvious one really but as anyone who has been seduced by its storytelling will tell you it is the way out ideas that truly impress. Like Doctor Who it thrives on implausibilities but rather than attempt to give their ideas a scientific explanation (see The X-Files) the characters just shrug their heads and get on with it. It has a very similar character set up as Doctor Who, with John Steed as the iconic lead of the series and a number of frighteningly attractive women as his "companions" (except they can usually kick ass better than their Doctor Who counterparts!). Like Blake's Seven you'll see a lot of Doctor Who actors and production staff involved. And it has been noted that some of the stories resemble Doctor Who ones (and vice versa) what with man-eating plants and such like. It's a fun show and one that excels at being deliberately surreal, the scripts often bursting with energy and humour.

7) BUGS

The most unfairly maligned show is living memory. The critics despised it, the ratings (although around 8 million) were only average and you'll be hard to find a single person these days to say a nice thing about it. And yet it was utterly harmless, an engaging mix of high tech action and twisty-turny plots. Loads of Doctor Who-style camp villains show up (especially the rather sinister bazooka toting Jean-Danielle) and the style over substance is a harsh reminder of the later years of Doctor Who. The regulars were chosen for their status in other shows rather than for their acting quality (a favourite tactic of JNT) but saying that Jesse Birdsall, Jaye Grithis and Henry from Neighbours settle down into a very watchable unit come season three. Much like Doctor Who it was criticized for not taking itself seriously and has taken that reputation to its grave (you find any non fan who points at the McCoy era as a renaissance for the series). A shame because Who contributors Stephen Gallagher and Colin Brake wrote some cracking scripts that were produced with more flair than your average BBC drama.

6) Alias

Okay you've caught me, this one has nothing whatsoever to do with Doctor Who and I include it simply because it is utterly fabulous television! Why are you reading this daft review? Go buy it now!

5) Farscape

What on earth is this crazy fool on? What do these two polar opposite shows have in common that he could place this one so far down the list? Okay here it is, like Doctor Who, Farscape is a constant risk taker that isn't afraid to shake up its image and regulars every so often to give it a shot of energy. While I realise Doctor Who does not contain swearing, vomiting, pissing, alien nookie and characters being killed in spectacular ways (well except perhaps Revelation of the Daleks... which is as close as Doctor Who comes to Farscape) the willingness to throw the audience off kilter with staggering ideas (a time travelling police box vs a graveyard of living ships) and an offbeat tone is very similar. What's more Farscape is the only show I can think that experiments with HOW to tell a story as much as Doctor Who (what with a cartoon adventure, an episode told from 7 perspectives over, flashback episodes, arc plots, the audacious Scratch'n'Sniff which refuses to tell a coherent story). Oh and Aeyryn and Crichton are the hottest couple on television.

4) Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I do love Rob Matthews to bits but he made a comment the other day that did not ring true (oh and he called me Harry Secombe!)...

'The new series needs to match Buffy...'

Coupling is far superior to Friends thanks to its flawed characters and the clever narrative tricks Steven Moffat uses to assemble his episodes. What Rob failed to mention whilst mentioning how repulsed he was by the smugness of Buffy was that it has a similar tone to the equally smug McCoy era that he happens to love! Honestly! Go watch the two shows one after the other and you will be shocked how both drown in their smugness, their commentary on EVERYTHING, their attempts to be contemporary and hip and their horrid use of slang words and phrases. What's more they both revel in really crap costumes for their monsters! The only difference between the two that I can see is that Buffy is genuinely well acted (Sarah Michelle Gellar knocks spots of Aldred and anyone knocks spots of McCoy) and written (because beneath all that smugness is a strong emotional core). And Buffy never produced anything as dire as Silver Nemesis. At the end of the day Buffy was a consistently excellent show, often surprising and always funny. Its astonishing popularity is a testament to that.

3) The X-Files

Included purely because it manages to thrive on that behind the sofa spookiness everyone over the age of 35 seems to mention from their childhood when talking about Doctor Who. Say what you will about the latter years of this show (which I declare were something of return to form after a dodgy few middle years) it scared the shit out of me for YEARS and if you want a few examples of bed wetting terror go watch the episodes Ice, Squeeze, The Calusari, Grotesque, Leonard Betts, Signs and Wonders, Hellbound... visceral and psychological horror at its all time best. As well as this it shares another similarity with Doctor Who, its complete inability to successfully and satisfyingly complete an arc plot.

2) Jonathon Creek

A fantastic series and one that shares the complex and satisfying plots of Doctor Who. This is the only show I will re-watch as much as Doctor Who to see how all the plot mechanics work so beautifully to create something so clever. What's more whilst telling its deceptive murder mysteries it never fails to entertain, bursting with instantly quotable dialogue, comic sub plots and visual gags that will make your eyes pop out. Plus if you are lucky you will spot Colin Baker, Peter Davison, Maureen O'Brien, Mary Tamm and others making guest appearances!

1) Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! All respect for Joe Ford has shot out the window! How dare you suggest that a Star Trek series could be anything like Doctor Who let alone approach its level of quality? Well it's true so stick a sock in your mouth and listen, DS9 is the best television series ever bar Doctor Who. And they do have one very huge thing in common, the reason I consider both shows such an incredible success... diversity. We all know that Doctor Who has a limitless formula, the ability to travel forwards and backwards in time and visit any planet... you can tell any story in those boundaries (or rather lack of). DS9 has no such luck, it's set in one place with one group of characters and yet thanks to the imagination of an incredible group of writers they explored a breadth of genres and styles. Where to begin... two handed drama (Duet), psychological drama (The Wire), slapstick (Profit and Lace), high concept episodes (Little Green Men, Our Man Bashir), space operas (the two year Dominion war arc), westerns (The Ship, Rocks and Shoals), Pirate themes shows (any Klingon episode), sporty shows (Take me Out to the Holosuite), gay drama (Rejoined), sinking ship stories (Starship Down), 1950's romance (His Way), wartime drama (The Siege of AR-558), a heist story (Badda Bing- Badda Bang), farce (Who Mourns for Mourn), time-travel stories (Past Tense), nostalgia tales (Blood Oath, Trials and Tribble-ations), action stories (To the Death), tearjerkers (Chimera), detective shows (Improbable Cause, Field of Fire)... I COULD GO ON ALL DAY!

How the series hops from one genre to the next is remarkably Who-like... you just don't what you are going to get next week. What's more it is easily the most consistently well written show I have ever seen (more so than Who unfortunately) and has the ultimate set of regulars. Forget your prejudice against Star Trek (like you can't like both shows... oh grow up!) and watch this show... one of the most multi-faceted and rewarding shows on television.

And here are a few shows to avoid...

Babylon 5 (Three shite years and two good ones, the climax to this series was especially poor)

Crime Traveller (1D characters in 1D plots)

Star Trek: Voyager (the opposite of DS9, shallow, repetitive and full of technobabble)

Angel (I just hate it. Sorry...)

Top Ten Book Lines Authors by Terrence Keenan 12/10/04

10. Stephen Marley -- Only one book to his credit, but Managra is such a unique and strong book that it makes you wonder why he hasn't returned to Who.

09. Kate Orman -- With certain qualifications. We're talking pre-Jon Blum collaborations, meaning The Left Handed Hummingbird and Set Piece. Both are well written, confident books that tell good stories, without sucking up to fandom.

08. Gareth Roberts -- Although I find his 7th Doctor novels a bit uneven, with The Highest Science being the best, his three Season 17 novels are f'n brilliant. All three (The English Way of Death, The Romance of Crime & The Well-Mannered War) emphasise both the seriousness and the silliness that makes Season 17 so damn entertaining.

07. Simon Messingham -- He's kind of a more accessable Paul Magrs. It's obvious he has a literary degree and does tend to make his novels seem like novels instead of prose renderings of TV stories never shot. And while The Infinity Race, Zeta Major and The Face-Eater might be flawed, they are far better than your normal Who novel, warts and all. Then comes Tomb of Valdemar, which comes from left field, and yet still manages to mix the traditional with new ideas.

06. Lance Parkin -- He is the writer that Paul Cornell seemingly wanted to be in Who, but far more disciplined and more fun. On first read, his books dazzle. And although they might not stand up to a second reading as well, they're still so well written that he deserves the credit he's received.

05. Jonathan Morris -- Festival of Death is the best 4th Doc/Romana 2 novel, ever. Anachrophobia is dark, complex and chilling. The Tomorrow Windows is the wonderfully joyful book in the Who line in quite a while. Jon Morris has a vivid imagination as it shows with all three works.

04. Ben Aaronovitch -- The one common trait of Transit and The Also People is Aaronovitch's supreme confidence of storytelling. Aaronovitch is the best "World Builder" in Who since Robert Holmes. In Transit, he worte the best of the Virgin New Adventures, and in The Also People, he created literary gold on a story that's really small.

03. Justin Richards -- The Plot King. Just a wonderful, straightforward craftsman. He's written for almost all the Doctors and many companions. He manages to capture a TARDIS crew to a T, and expand on it in interesting ways. He's is what we hoped Uncle Terrance Dicks would have been in terms of original Who novels.

02. Paul Magrs -- Leaving Verdigris aside, Magrs has written three books that come closest to "straight literature," for Who. The Scarlet Empress recasts Who as fairytale. The Blue Angel is a gloriously written trainwreck of a novel that doesn't even have an ending. It just stops, like an early Minutemen song. And Mad Dogs & Englishmen is that Target Novelization on acid I've always wanted to read. Magrs's prose is gorgeous, his characters interesting (even when they annoy) and manages to show new ways of telling a Who story.

01. Lawrence Miles -- There's Mad Larry the Universe Maker, and then there's everyone else. His books are scary, funny, powerful and get better with every read. He mixed the traditional and the radical, continuity and new ideas, cultural studies and voodoo science, new concepts and old. His books are the ones that could stand outside of Who, moreso than any others. He is the man. Nuff Said.

Rating the DVD commentaries by Mike Morris 14/10/04

DVD commentaries are really what excites me about most of the releases. It's fair to say that by and large, the Doctor Who commentaries are unusually good. But which ones are the best, and which are the worst? Or to put it another way, which ones have Davison and Fielding and which ones have McCoy and Aldred? Read on for my humble opinions of the commentaries so far (they're roughly in chronological order, based on my memory and the issue numbers. Anyone wishing to point out errors should email someone who cares a bit more than me).

1. The Robots of Death; Chris Boucher and Phillip Hinchcliffe. Hmm, not an auspicious start. Occasionally they say some interesting things, but most of the time they don't say anything at all, and then talk out of duty. It's terribly stilted, and provides a fascinating insight into how little people remember about stuff they did thirty years ago. The awkward talking around the issue of who created Leela provides some brief moments of amusement, but overall, this is a total snorefest.
2. Spearhead from Space; Nicholas Courtney and Caroline John. Ho hum. Bland, boring and cosy, this isn't a particularly edifying listen. Courtney and John are pleasant enough, but they don't have a great deal to impart about this and spend most of the time vaguely remembering people. Rather forgettable, really.
3. Remembrance of the Daleks; Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred. Better than the Spearhead commentary, but not by much. McCoy and Aldred, surprisingly, are affable but quiet company, and seem stuck for words sometimes. The early tendency to have only actors present tends to lead to toothlessness, and while Aldred and McCoy have a few interesting observations, it's hard to work out why they didn't get Andrew Cartmel, Ben Aaronovitch or Andrew Morgan to help them along. As it is, this one's pretty bland.
4. The Tomb of the Cybermen; Deborah Watling and Frazer Hines. Better. This is actually very good fun, mainly because Watling and Hines have a nice, piss-takey attitude to the whole thing. There isn't anything particularly insightful and you wouldn't call it essential, but the banter between the two of them is sparky and overall it's a good listen.
5. The Caves of Androzani; Peter Davison, Nicola Bryant, and Graeme Harper. Ah, now this is more like it. Peter Davison bursts with exuberance and good humour (his reaction to his regeneration is hilarious, affronted at how he's upstaged by Bryant's tits and giving Colin Baker a right pasting), and the rapport between him and Graeme Harper is immediately apparent, while Nicola Bryant is a bit overpowered but still interesting. There's a great balance between humour, having a go at the special effects, reaction to the good bits, and genuine insight. Harper, in particular, is informative company and always takes time to praise his cast and crew. This is still the best commentary of the lot.
6. Vengeance on Varos; Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant, and Nabil Shaban. Another good one. Baker and Bryant have an obvious rapport and are thoughtful about the story's concerns, and Shaban - the first guest star to feature in a commentary - is a truly fascinating person who settles into his task with good humour. Bryant, actually able to get a word in edgeways this time, is particularly interesting company and Baker's theatrically sarcastic wit is a treat.
7. The Movie; Geoffrey Sax. This is actually very informative and very interesting. Sax is quiet and doesn't dominate at all, being asked to carry this on his own, but simply tells us exactly how things were done in a nuts-and-bolts way. It's not riveting, and you sense sometimes that he's holding back on various issues (the cuts made to the UK version, for example). In other areas (Eric Roberts and the contacts, for example) he's openly contradicted by the information text. However, it's still a good, solid commentary.
8. The Aztecs; Verity Lambert, William Russell and Carole Ann Ford. The good run couldn't last forever, I suppose. Fair enough, the story is almost forty years old, but surely they could have found something interesting to say? Or remembered something, anything about the story? Russell, in particular, is very dull, and although Ford and Lambert make the odd observation it's all very boring. The fact that Carole Ann Ford can't remember she was missing for a week and nobody even notices says a lot. Compared to the fascinating reminiscences of the guest cast on the DVD documentary, this is dreadful.
9. The Ark in Space; Tom Baker, Lis Sladen and Phillip Hinchcliffe. This is another blinder. Surprisingly, Lis Sladen is the dominant figure early on - she's thoughtful, takes her craft seriously and reads the story beautifully. Tom, after a tentative start, is as fascinating and engaging as you'd expect, and while he's very funny he speaks quite seriously about how he approached the show. Phillip Hinchcliffe seems more relaxed with dominant personalities to support him, and he gives a real insight into his approach. It starts slowly enough, but by the end it's a great balance of insight and entertainment, and it's right up there with the Caves commentary as being one of the best.
10. Carnival of Monsters; Katy Manning and Barry Letts. This is a good one. Manning is energetic, effervescent, and occasionally irritating, but she's very genuine in her affections and is good company overall. Letts, meanwhile, is super; he approaches it seriously, he tells a lot of good stories about the production and he's very interesting and sharp. They're a good balance and this is a very good commentary.
11. Resurrection of the Daleks; Peter Davison, Janet Fielding and Matthew Robinson. Davison and Fielding; the commentary dream-team is finally formed. They're witty, they're not too serious, they take the piss out of the story without ever letting us doubt that they have respect for it. Robinson is good value too, showing - yet again - the value of having a member of the production staff to rein the cast members in. He's also intelligent and very appreciative of his cast; it's nice and appropriate that they stop the banter for Tegan's leaving scene.
12. The Three Doctors; Katy Manning, Nicholas Courtney and Barry Letts. Not bad as such, but the fact is that no-one can really get worked up about what's obviously a piss-poor anniversary tale. Some of the behind-the-scenes stuff about Troughton and Pertwee is nice, but the whole thing fails to engage, even if the nature of the production should make it interesting.
13. The Seeds of Death; Frazer Hines, Wendy Padbury, Michael Ferguson and Terrance Dicks. Terrance makes his commentary debut and he's wonderful, for the first time giving a really good insight into the nuts-and-bolts of scripting. Ferguson is excellent too, and supported by Hines and Padbury - both of whom are good fun - the result is one of the best commentaries.
14. The Talons of Weng-Chiang; Louise Jameson, Phillip Hinchcliffe, David Maloney, John Bennett and Christopher Benjamin. Cor, they don't stint on the bodies here. Having a guest star is always interesting, and both Benjamin and Bennett are proud of their work on the show and come across very well. Louise Jameson is good, Hinchcliffe and Maloney are incisive, and just having so many people involved gives the whole thing a nice ensemble-piece feel. It can be a bit crowded sometimes with all the to-ing and fro-ing, but the upside of that is that everyone gets their opportunity to talk. Nice.
15. Earthshock; Peter Davison, Janet Fielding, Matthew Waterhouse and Sarah Sutton. Totally irreverent, this probably the most entertaining of commentaries with a giddy high-school reunion feel to it. You won't get any great insights, but the knowledge that Matthew Waterhouse spent his last days on the show nicknamed "Matt Finish" is enough to make it one of the best. Nice one Janet. Great fun.
16. The Curse of Fenric; Sylvester McCoy, Sophie Aldred and Nicholas Parsons. They're all nice; they're all friendly; they're all interesting enough in their own way. It's an incredibly boring commentary. While the Boucher/Hinchcliffe commentary on The Robots of Death is stilted, they did at least say a few interesting things; but without the presence of any production staff the cast tend to tell bland anecdotes all the time. This is the worst commentary yet and really isn't worth anyone's time. Given that Ian Briggs was so interesting in the mini-documentary, his absence on the commentary is completely baffling.
17. The Dalek Invasion of Earth; William Russell, Carole Ann Ford, Richard Martin and Verity Lambert with Gary Russell. An incredible improvement on The Aztecs commentary, Gary Russell's presence keeps everyone focused and works really well. It didn't set my spine tingling or anything, mainly because the story bores me to tears, but if you like The Dalek Invasion of Earth you'll like this. Richard Martin is surprisingly good, especially when you consider how rubbish his direction is.
18. The Two Doctors; Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant, Frazer Hines, Jacqueline Pearce, and Peter Moffat. It's all right, but it's a bit crowded. Baker and Bryant are always good and Hines is as entertaining as ever. Peter Moffatt, though, is as dull as his direction, and while I'm sure a chat with Jacqueline Pearce would be an hour of sheer heaven she doesn't really get involved here; she seems to view the story as just another job, rather than anything she's particularly proud of. The whole thing fails to mesh as it might, but it's perfectly serviceable.
19. The Visitation; Peter Davison, Janet Fielding, Matthew Waterhouse and Sarah Sutton. More of the riotous same, really. It's not quite as good as the Earthshock one, mainly because this isn't as momentous a story in terms of behind-the-scenes action. It's still great fun though. Look, it's got Davison and Fielding; what more do you need to know?
20. The Green Death; Katy Manning, Barry Letts and Terrance Dicks. This is in the upper echelons. Letts and Dicks are a good team, and having both producer and script editor present leads to even more insight than usual. It's well balanced out by Katy Manning, who somehow manages to be really, really likeable even though her comedy accents and incessant "darling"s are phenomenally irritating. Her reaction to the final scene is genuinely touching, and the whole thing overall is a belter.
21. Pyramids of Mars; Lis Sladen, Michael Sheard, Paddy Russell and Phillip Hinchcliffe. Sladen is as wonderful as ever, and never shies away from saying what she thinks; amongst other things saying she felt Paddy Russell tended to over-rehearse the cast. Hinchcliffe has certainly settled into his role by now - although after four commentaries he's starting to repeat himself. Russell hardly features at all, and Sheard is likeable and impressive but doesn't say anything very pithy - given his long history with the show, it would have been interesting to hear him compare Tom with other Doctors, for example. As a whole the thing is solid but not quite as interesting as it should be, although it's hard to say why.
22. The Leisure Hive; Lalla Ward, Lovett Bickford and Christoper Bidmead. Cor blimey, it's not short of opinions anyway. Bickford is proud of his work here, and strives to explain his philosophy behind how he shot the story. Bidmead is frank in his criticisms, and it's good to hear; he's not scared to say that he doesn't like the opening shot, and in challenging Bickford he gets him to justify himself much better. Ward joins in on the act too, openly disagreeing with a lot of Bidmead's comments, and hence getting him to back up a lot of his statements. However, it's not for everyone. In particular, the criticism of Tom does get very annoying after a while. I'm not looking for unending admiration, given that Tom was intolerable for Bidmead to work with and Lalla Ward does have a broken marriage with the guy behind her, but an acknowledgement that he was a pretty decent Doctor would be nice. That aside, what we have is a frank and interesting discussion on a story that I've never really liked, it gives a good insight into everyone's attitudes. I enjoyed it immensely.
23. Ghost Light; Sophie Aldred, Marc Platt, Andrew Cartmel and Mark Ayres. See! See! Why oh why didn't they get some of the production staff on the McCoy stories earlier? McCoy's absence is a pity, but this is informative, entertaining and a damn good listen. Aldred, freed of the need to carry the action, is good company, Platt and Cartmel give some good stuff about the production, and what's more, they actually explain the plot points! I thought I understood this, but the whole thing about Josiah and Control was a revelation. Another revelation is Mark Ayres, who is a sharp commentator and a thoughtful presence, showing the same appreciation of story that he displayed in the Fenric extras. This is a marvellous commentary.

Ten Films and Books and Stuff with Doctor Who connections by Mike Morris 20/10/04

There ain't nothing more fun than, whilst dozing in front of the telly, you're jolted awake by the realisation that "Hey, that's Dr Warlock from Pyramids of Mars!" However, many works of popular culture share more than cast members with our series. Here's ten bits of work that either reference Doctor Who, or failing that they rip it off.

1. Alien. Let's start with the obvious then. What's fantastically annoying is that, whenever I show The Ark in Space to a non-fan, is that they call it an Alien rip off. And then when I point out that The Ark in Space came first they don't believe me! Aaargh! Anyway, Alien is similar to Ark in many ways; the design, the emphasis on humanity v conformity, and the focus on cryogenic freezing. Oh, and they both have big bugs that eat people from inside in them.
2. Star Trek: First Contact. Take a dollop of Cybermen, add a pinch of Autons, update the design a bit and give them a crap name. Then develop the cheek to call them "original" and make a movie about them. Oh, Borg off.
3. Queer As Folk. Absolutely stonkingly brilliant television series, written by a bloke who's quite important in Who circles these days. It loosely follows the lives of two young gay men. Maybe it's a bit clichéd to make one of them a Doctor Who fan, but who cares? It drools over one of the central characters a bit too much as well, but still, nothing beats hearing the words "Beware of the Mentiads" on another programme.
4. Jokerman. Opening track on Bob Dylan's dated-but-still-interesting 1983 album Infidels. It's about a loner who travels to strange and wonderful places, fighting tyranny but remaining a man of peace. It features lines like "shedding off one more layer of skin." Must be a coincidence though; but while I'm on the subject, the cover of Blonde on Blonde doesn't half look like Tom Baker.
5. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. Greatest satirical film of the last twenty years and best musical ever (i.e. the only good musical ever). South Park usually has a go at Trekkies rather than Who - which is nice - but was good enough to rip off the plot of The Curse of Fenric for their big screen outing. Satan roughly corresponds as the Ancient One, Saddam Hussein is Fenric and the role of Commander Millington is taken by Kyle's Mom. Of course, The Curse of Fenric didn't feature a song called Shut Your Fucking Face Uncle Fucka. Would've been good if it did though.
6. Spaced. Top-notch sitcom that references approximately six billion sources per episode, including the occasional nod to Doctor Who. There's a TARDIS in the comic-book shop, for example, and I'm sure there's a sneaky nod to Logopolis in the episode where they raid the pet lab. Unfortunately, Spaced was cunningly scheduled for a time when pretty much anyone who wanted to watch it would be in the pub, but if you didn't catch it on telly buy it on DVD. It's utterly brilliant.
7. Some advert for a caravan. "I feel like Doctor Who, with a craft that is larger on the inside than without," said some irritating old bloke a while ago on UK daytime adverts. This was an attempt to convince people to buy some camper van, in which they could go on holidays and annoy local people by travelling along at three miles per hour while blocking the roads. Given the rather un-TARDIS-like nature of these vehicles (i.e. slow, cumbersome, universally hated and piloted by boring wankers), Sydney Newman must have been spinning in his grave.
8. Coupling. A sort of half-decent sitcom lovingly crafted by Stephen Moffat, which mixed laboured comedy with frankly brilliant bits of surreal dream sequences. It featured some bloke as Jeff who also starred in Strange, which was a rip-off of Doctor Who if ever I've seen one. And it also dropped in a nice Doctor Who reference when one of the characters starts ranting to his girlfriend about the utter pointlessness of cushions - "Padding? I might accept that, but this is a sofa! It is specifically designed to prevent the user from abrasions, muscular trauma, lacerations... and of course, Daleks." Good point; and it also suggests a hilarious story in which some punters fighting a war against Daleks use sofas as a last line of defence in a clever bit of post-modernism. There you go BBC Books, that's a decent plot outline if ever I've heard one. Call me when you're ready.
9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Overrated horror-meets-Dawson's Creek series. In it, there was an episode when one of the nerds-turned-supervillains claimed to have seen every episode of Doctor Who. My housemates were therefore treated to an explanation of why this was impossible, how the program hadn't done the research, and a brief rant against the BBC Archives. They don't watch Buffy any more. Good job too, I reckon.
10. Blue Peter. Blue Peter, along with John Craven's Newsround, was the sort of children's programme that most children, if given the option to watch it, would instead gouge their own eyes out. Undeterred, psychotic parents simply strapped their little darlings in a chair and applied some Clockwork Orange-type headgear on the grounds that Blue Peter was educational, i.e. consisted of ways to make toys out of cereal packets. These items were a: completely shit and b: impossible to make without double-sided sticky tape, reputedly available for purchase from a small premises in Kuala Lumpur. Highlights of the programme included Peter Purves (aka Stephen Taylor) referring to a couple of doorknobs with the phrase "what a beautiful pair of knockers," and the episode when a tear-streaked Janet Ellis (aka Teka from The Horns of Nimon) informed the nation that the Blue Peter garden had been vandalised. Lowlights included everything else. Oh, and there were some Doctor Who-related features which now appear as extras on the DVD releases, and are about as interesting as the rest of Blue Peter was.

Ten films of interest to Who fans, and their (sometimes convoluted) connection to Who by Terrence Keenan 10/11/04

When there's a good ideas out there for a top ten, it's worth stealing for your own use. Just ten films of note, in no special order.

1. Revenger's Tragedy
   An Alex Cox film adaptation of the 17th Century Thomas More play, with a certain Christopher Eccelston in the lead. Although I had seen our next Doctor in two other films (Shallow Grave and 28 Days Later, both directed by Denny Boyle) after seeing this, it made me understand why Eccelston was cast as the Doc for the new series.
2. The Banger Sisters
   Readers of Paul Magrs's Who novels should notice a certain resemblance between Goldie Hawn's Suzette and a certain Iris Wildthyme. Both have atrocious dress sense, drink excessively, wreak havoc wherever they go, yet seem to do the right thing when needed.
3. Yojimbo
   This Akira Kurosawa film has been used as the basis for three Who serials -- The Power of Kroll and The Caves of Androzani by Robert Holmes and Remembrance of the Daleks by Ben Aaronovitch. Although the 4th and 5th Doctors are nothing like the Sanjruo character in Yojimbo, the 7th Doctor is far more like Sanjuro in manipulating the two Dalek factions against each other.
4. 2001: A Space Oddyssey
   It is, for me, the greatest science fiction flim ever. It's influence on Who can be seen during the last two season of the McCoy years, as the stories try to use dialogue and visuals to tell not only the main story, but also the underlying subtext. Ghost Light and The Greatest Show in the Galaxy are the relevant examples.
5. The Parallax View
   A political thriller from 1974, starring Warren Beatty, and just as much as an influence on The Deadly Assassin as The Manchurian Candidate, with the conspiracy behind the killing and the framing of the Doctor coming from Parallax.
6. Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger
   Less an influence on Who, but Pat Troughton plays Melanthius, a very Doctor-esque character who is both serious and clown, scary and charming, even with the Chuck-Heston-as-Moses looking costume.
7. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad
   It's the film that got Tom Baker the role, you know. Just saw this recently, and Tom does make a smashing villain. And despite the beard, you can't miss Tom's eyes, or that famous smile.
8. Alien
   Obvious influence on Earthshock. The whole truckers in space thing going on the freighter. Also an influence (in terms of set design) on Terminus. The fan rumor of The Ark in Space influencing Alien is just a good story, nothing more.
9. Spirited Away
   A wonderful anime tale that manages to be both a children adventure story and not be dumbed down for adults. It also creates brilliant fantasy worlds. Um, less an influence than more of a wishful thought for the new series.
10. Carnival of Souls
    A low budget film from the early 1960s that shows you can create brilliant atmosphere just through performance, interesting visuals and minimal effects. Serial Who at it's best takes the samer route.

Top ten reasons to read Doctor Who books by Joe Ford 17/11/04

10) Continuity

I know, I know you probably think I have gone mad considering I am always whinging at how intrusive and unnecessary continuity can be in Doctor Who books. But after a chat with my fellow Doctor Who nut Matt I realised something very important about the continuity in the books, that the writers were effectively organising a big hug between Doctor Who the series and Doctor Who the books and uniting them into one joyous universe. By featuring Tobias Vaughn in the seventh Doctor book Original Sin we have a superb link between the two media and can truly appreciate the books as a continuation of the Doctor's adventures on the telly. For that alone you have to understand the odd mention of an adventure from the Doctor's past.

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": Too true! Indeed it was the over reliance on continuity that forced latest editor Justin Richards to alter the entire timeline the books were taking place in and start all over again. This included the destruction of Gallifrey, the Doctor's home planet whose very existence was tempting too many authors to use it as a creative tool and the books suffered as a result. Books such as Lucifer Rising and Interference, good books on their own are hampered by the authors' obsession with constant references to the Doctor's past. Really continuity belongs to the Past Doctor Adventures, which provides a nice introduction to...

9) Fleshing out televised eras (The Missing Adventures/ Past Doctor Adventures)

If televised Doctor Who is your favourite then the these intriguing dips into the Doctor's past lives are probably the place for you. One of the better innovations during Virgin's reign with the books was to create this separate line of books for those who found the current line of New Adventures too serious/adult/stupid/silly/bold/OTT (delete as applicable) for them. It proved a huge success too with certain writers proving certain past eras suit their writing talents far better than the NAs (Gareth Roberts' season seventeen books for example).

For me however the introduction of the PDAs were the ideal chance to flesh out those eras that didn't have much of a chance on the telly, for creative or behind the scenes reasons. The sixth Doctor has a much more popular life in print than he ever did on the telly with books such as Killing Ground, Shadow in the Glass and Blue Box proving to be some of his best ever tales. Companions too benefited from this arrangement, Dodo was finally given a decent introduction in Salvation, Romana I was allowed to experience a frightening story unlike anything in season sixteen (Tomb of Valdemar) and we get to catch up with an older Harry (System Shock, Millennium Shock). There are loads of examples, the MAs/PDAs at times proving better written than certain reviled eras of televised Doctor Who (Gareth Roberts' The Romance of Crime, The English Way of Death and The Well-Mannered War are spoken of far more fondly than season seventeen).

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": Again true and at times the writers of MAs/PDAs take their re-interpretation of past Doctor Who too far. Combat Rock is a memorable horror (full of grotesque death scenes, cannibals and rape) but should it really feature the Second Doctor? Does Dodo really deserve to contract a sexually transmitted disease and then be horribly murdered? Should The Quantum Archangel contain a continuity reference on every single line?

And indeed there are two eras of Doctor Who the books have forgotten about entirely, season eighteen and season twenty-four. Why do the fourth Doctor and Adric and the seventh Doctor and Mel get excluded from such revisions when surely they above all others deserve it? Send your answers on a postcard to Justin Richards, BBC books.

8) Bernice Summerfield

This is the rare example of a character from the book series taking on a life all of its own. Nobody could foresee how far Benny's influence would stretch when she began her life in Paul Cornell's Love and War back in October 1992. They certainly wouldn't imagine she would have had a practically unbroken run of stories from that date right through until now, 2004.

There is so much to like about Benny it would be impossible to write it all down. She is simply one of the best ever companions to travel with the Doctor because of how totally, thoroughly human she is. If the role of the companion is for the reader to identify with the reader than Bernice is the best, she laughs at the silly aliens, she cries when she is pushed to the limit, she shouts when she is angry, she wants desperately to shag gorgeous men, she loves drinking, she hates being manipulated, she has a great sense of humour and she often makes lots of very silly mistakes. She is you or I in space and she works a treat. Over twelve years she has been allowed to make friends, get married, settle down, get divorced, lose her home, become a man, have a child... it is possible to experience the entire array of human existence through Bernice because she is so real and so damn entertaining with it.

Not content with being the Doctor's sidekick she was given her own series of novels after Virgin stopped publishing Doctor Who books. After that was brought to a conclusion Big Finish took her on to head one of their series, producing a series that would consist of Benny books and audios concurrently. She has recently branched out into short story collections with great success. It would seem there is no medium she cannot thrive in. Could we possibly expect an appearance by Lisa Bowerman as Bernice on the TV series soon...?

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": Yes they can! Bernice is the only item on this list I have no complaints about!

7) Big bold ideas

This is the first of several items on this list that that the book range shares whole-heartedly with the TV series. That is the ability to incorporate huge science fiction ideas into their stories that just blow your mind away when you read them. Here are just a few of my all time favourites...

a) Lucifer Rising features an entire solar system used as a device to change morphic fields. Lucifer's moon is the mechanism and an alien "mushroom farm" control room is the control point. The bridge between the two is the point of control. Emotions control the device, ensuring only an emotionally controlled being could use the device.

b) Interference features a fabulous concoction of ideas, the Doctor's past being re-written to turn him into a faction paradox agent, the Remote, a society of people who exist purely to receive random signals from a media net and who are sterile to the point of having to make copies of themselves and implanting their memories, the Eleven Day Empire, which is an eleven day stretch of time that was dismissed in the human calendar but commandeered by the Faction Paradox as their central base of operation...

c) The Last Resort features the mulitverse on its last legs, the universe of possibilities having broken through into our universe and leaving it subject to constant change. A frightening scene sees the Doctor and his friends the only people able to see how the world is constantly shifting and changing, people turning old to young, fat to thin, in the blink of an eye. In one of the more surreal scenes in any Doctor Who book all the universes converge in Egypt with a million trillion TARDISes, Doctors, Fitzs and Anjis.

Doctor Who thrives on these sorts of ideas (indeed it is bold ideas like the TARDIS and regeneration that has allowed it to continue for forty odd years). What's more the books are told at a more leisurely pace than the series and we get to explore such ideas far more intimately than we would in a half hour instalment on a Saturday night.

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": Indeed not and there is the temptation to get too big and too bold for your boots. Jim Mortimore, as brilliant a Doctor Who writer as you are going to find bit off far more than he could chew when he wrote Beltempest, a book that dares to forget its human characters and populate its pages with planets as its main characters. He snuffs them out with little regard for the millions on the surface, concentrating on the omnipotent idea that the planets lives are more important. This leaves the book with a cold, unfeeling atmosphere and what's worse he fails to bring this system of dying planets to any form of conclusion, leaving the reader at a loss as to why they bothered to read the thing in the first place.

6) Alien worlds

Unlike the TV series which relied on sights to get across its sense of the alien and the unreal, the books are able to describe how a place looks, how it smells, feels, sounds, tastes... we get to experience alien planets from a very intimate point of view. What's more there is no financial worries in your head and you can literally create any planet you want, on whatever scale you want. Some writers have taken this opportunity extremely well and produced some memorably bizarre places to visit. Who could ever forget Hitchemus, populated by intelligent tigers and thriving on music (The Year of Intelligent Tigers)? Or Espero, the land of Alligator Men, hawk beings, the Spider Duchess and seas polluted by waste from life extending experiments (The Scarlet Empress). Anachrophobia features a frightening world, which is being infected by beings from the time vortex and thus turning its people into living clocks, a disturbing image when just one person is infected but when the Doctor and co arrive in an entire city of ticks and tocks, the imagery is truly frightening. The Also People is perhaps the best example of an alien world brought to life, the book almost forgets its duty to tell a razor sharp plot to allow its characters to explore the People planet, a place with killer maggot strewn beaches, God floating about keeping an eye on everybody, multi limbed species and sentient spaceships. It's a place I would love to visit.

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": There are times when alien planets are too Earth-like to make you wonder why they didn't just set the story on Earth. Vanishing Point and The Colony of Lies are both guilty of this. And the sheer number of alternative universe stories (amplified by the recent alternative universe arc) is robbing these stories of their power. Sometimes alien worlds are a little too incomprehensible, even for me (and I consider myself an intelligent reader), usually any book written by Dave Stone (as hilarious as they can be) features a planet that I fail to get to grips with.

5) Diversity

Another handshake between the show and the books, the ability to tell thousands of different stories that are nothing like each other. This is one of the reasons why Doctor Who books rank better in my eyes than other TV tie in novels and most mainstream novels, because the collective output for a year will feature eleven completely different books set in all number of years and planets, featuring a different cast of characters each month. It keeps the books fresh and interesting and if you don't like what is going on this month then you can always check out next months knowing it will be a different Doctor, different year, different genre, etc...

Besides any book range that can slip the following books next to each other is worth a look in my opinion...

a) Shakedown (a comic book SF adventure featuring a lot of running around a silly cartoonish villains, the Sontarans) and Just War (an intense psychological historical set during the Second World War featuring the Benny being tortured by the Nazis).

b) Interference (an epic SF tale that revels in its intelligence and science) and The Blue Angel (a lyrical, gentle poem of a novel that refuses to cohere to any rules of storytelling).

c) The Adventuress of Henrietta Street (a stylised book about the Doctor getting married in a brothel, taking on a world of beasts with his prostitute friends and having his heart torn out (literally) and written entirely out of historical documents) and Mad Dogs and Englishmen (a fun, fluffy, camp book featuring walking talking pink poodles and the Doctor, Fitz and Anji being stripped naked and thrown in a kennel).

d) The Tomorrow Windows (light and fun, featuring a host of alien worlds, tons of continuity and lots of delightfully silly alien characters) and The Sleep of Reason (an intimate character drama, told mostly from one troubled teen's POV, set in one building).

You just don't know what you will get from one month to the next and that is all part of the fun.

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": A popular feature of late is to run arcs of stories which please regular readers but totally alienate those who only pick up the odd Doctor Who book. Indeed current editor Justin Richards has proven quite unpopular with his recent run of alternative universe stories, which for a run of about four books were very similar in plot and conclusion. It seems now he has returned to the standalone form with much diversity between each story, his EDA range is proving much more popular.

4) The Eighth Doctor (The Burning-The Gallifrey Chronicles)

To some he is the ultimate coward, refusing to discover the atrocity he committed in The Ancestor Cell. To others he is the astonishing re-invention of the eighth Doctor into a likable, sometimes scary, always compelling character. But nobody can deny Justin Richard's bold shift in the character (and the book series) made people TALK about the books again in a way they hadn't for a long, long time.

Personally I love him; this book creation is now my second favourite incarnation of the Doctor (after Colin Baker's much misunderstood Sixth Doctor) thanks to his enchanting mix of the unpredictable (he can be viciously violent and intolerant and also extremely romantic) and the recognisable (hugely eccentric, dashing heroic). Here are just a few of his wonderful standout moments...

a) Disgusted with his plan to wipe out humanity with the fire elemental, the newly amnesiac Doctor allows villain Roger Nepath to fall into a river and drown to death when he had every opportunity to save him. (The Burning)

b) Realising the his daughter is being held in space he decides to hijack an American shuttle and scribbles down the details of his plan on a napkin on the plane over to the States! (Father Time)

c) The planet Hitchemus is out of control, the humans and the tigers fighting and killing each other. To get across his appeals for peace he whips up a freak lighting storm that ravages the planet with himself in its centre so when it dies down EVERYBODY is paying attention to him. (The Year of Intelligent Tigers)

d) The cartoon cat Jasper is on trial for murdering his mouse nemesis. The Doctor takes the case for the defence and cleverly gets the audience to realise Jasper was going through a cycle of abuse, reinforcing the sense of humanity that is spreading through the cartoon world. (The Crooked World)

e) To get the head of the time travelling organisation that is offering trips into the past to realise they are shattering the universe while they do it, the Doctor arranges for himself to be killed so another him from another universe can reveal his dead self and thus prove the damage being done and put the whole sorry business to an end. (The Last Resort)

f) The Doctor takes frightened mother Hazel McKeown out into her back yard and pulls her up on the shed roof to look at the stars and the infinite possibilities they hold. Together they wave up at the stars, Hazel feeling faintly ridiculous but revelling in the magic of the Doctor. (The Deadstone Memorial)

3) Adult elements

A vice or strength? The books have taken it upon themselves to extend their influence to a much wider influence than the TV series, including those of us who enjoy much more adult, realistic approach to storytelling. Whilst the very idea of swearing, boozing and shagging would be unthinkable on the telly they thrive in the books, adding a much more grown up feel to them. Occasionally they would go too far and the books would stop being Doctor Who and start being an excuse for these adult themes to dominate which turned a lot of people away from the NAs in their early days.

However I am a firm believer in the diversity of Doctor Who and everything has its place in the series in moderation. I can never forget Roz's sweet relationship with feLixi in The Also People. Or the Doctor's hilarious exclamation "You son of a bitch!" in Camera Obscura when he realises Sabbath has his second heart. These elements can add an element of spice to the books; it is impossible to tell a romance these days without sex, indeed to do so would seem quite naive. Benny and Fitz are well known for their failed relationships, indeed it is one of the reason they are so endearing, so awkward are they with the opposite sex. Even homosexuality and lesbianism has a place in the series, characters such as Jack (Bad Therapy) and Alan Turing (The Turing Test) proving good companions for the Doctor.

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": Of all the items on this list this is one of the biggest strengths of the books and one of its biggest weaknesses. The temptation to abuse this freedom has ruined many Doctor Who book, there are too many to name that have gone too far, especially with the swearing and disgusting violence. My least favourites would have to be Transit (sorry folks, imaginative it may be but fetid and vile it is too!), Warlock (featuring rape, bestiality and abortions) and Warmonger (which is a comic book tale that continually refers to rape!).

2) Experiments

Something the books are damn good at, they have been going strong for fourteen years now and in that time have had a lot of fun stretching the novel format in and out, discovering fascinating new ways to tell stories. There have been many books told from a first person narrative (All-Consuming Fire, Eye of Heaven, The Banquo Legacy and Blue Box being the best examples), a mixture of first and third (The Infinity Race, Tomb of Valdemar) and some books told from the first person POV from lots of lots of characters (The Face-Eater, The Turing Test). Books have been highlighted with pictures (Lucifer Rising, All-Consuming Fire, The English Way of Death), script excerpts (Interference), news broadcasts (Interference again!) and footnotes (Heart of TARDIS, The Slow Empire).

Narratives have been fractured and told out of order (Eye of Heaven, The Last Resort, Timeless, Sometimes Never...), told backwards (Festival of Death) and told from the facts of historical documents (Adventuress of Henrietta Street). We've had books which practically ignore the Doctor (Face of the Enemy, Toy Soldiers, The Domino Effect), books that offer variations on the regulars (Blood Heat, Unnatural History, The Ancestor Cell, The Last Resort) and books which put their Doctors and companions in books they would never be allowed on the telly (the third Doctor in Rags, the fifth Doctor in Sands of Time).

Spoofs are all the rage and Doctor Who has tried its hand at quite a few pastiches. Trading Futures is Doctor Who does James Bond, The Crooked World is Doctor Who does Warner Brothers, Grimm Reality is Doctor Who does Grimm's fairy tales, The Tomorrow Windows is Doctor Who does Douglas Adams, The Indestructible Man is Doctor Who does Gerry Anderson and All-Consuming Fire is Doctor Who does Sherlock Holmes. To their credit most of these pull it off pretty well and tell damn good stories in the bargain.

Stories have had inconclusive endings (The Blue Angel), characters fighting over how the story should be told (Conundrum), a book written in essay form (History 101), books that have killed off their companions (So Vile a Sin, Time of Your Life, The Shadow in the Glass, Heritage, Wolfsbane), books written from the POV of historical characters (Sanctuary, The Turing Test, Empire of Death) and a book that refuses to admit which Doctor is involved (The Infinity Doctors).

Intimate books (Anachrophobia is mostly told from one building), epic books (Emotional Chemistry is told in three different time zones, 3000 years apart) and books that hop from planet to planet (The Tomorrow Windows, The Slow Empire).

"But surely they cannot always get this right?": Arcs have plagued the books series since their inception and they have been an unrelenting force carried through to the present day. The Timewyrm arc, the Cats Cradle arc, the future history cycle, the alternative history arc, the psi powers arc, Sam is Missing arc, The Compassion arc, the Caught on Earth arc and the alternative universe arc. I'd say about 70% of the books are standalone and 30% are arc books and most of the big events in the books take place in the arcs. They can work well (I especially enjoyed the Caught on Earth arc) but if you do not enjoy the arc you are following it is easy to drop out a wait for more standalones. It is alienating for non-regular readers and frankly the books in arcs often have similar feel and surely the point of Doctor Who is that each story should be different?

1) Emerging writers

The best thing about the books is the strength of fresh new writers that have been added to the Doctor Who universe. Some have made quite a name for themselves and gone on to bigger and better things (Paul Cornell, Mark Gatiss), others are familiar outside of Doctor Who (Justin Richards, Terrance Dicks, Paul Margs, Stephen Cole), some have continued their work in Doctor Who spin off series (Gary Russell, Lawrence Miles, Jac Rayner) and others have popped over from the TV series (Terrance Dicks, Barry Letts, Andrew Cartmel, Marc Platt). However there have been a huge number of authors I had never heard of before who have made a huge impression on me since their introduction to the Who universe, writers such as Lance Parkin, Andy Lane, Jim Mortimore, Kate Orman, Martin Day, Trevor Baxendale, Paul Leonard, Lloyd Rose, Jonathon Morris, Dave Stone, Simon Messingham and David McIntee (there are others but I would be here all day).

Go and read their books. Their work speaks for itself.

Top Ten Cliffhangers by Steve Cassidy 1/3/05

Aaaahhh... the cliffhanger. That image which stays with you for the rest of the week. The image which brings you back to the television the next week to see the Doctor, Jo, Peri or Sarah Jane escape their fate. The best and most memorable were the truly scary ones and that's why the majority below are in the esteemed Hinchcliffe/Holmes years. They truly understood that they had to get the audience coming back - rather like the Saturday morning 'Flash Gordon' serials. And like those old serials, they cheated - Leela opens Ted Moss's door in Image of the Fendahl and his double-barrel shotgun goes off. Cut to the next week and it is insinuated that she saw him and had time to dodge. You, as a nine-year old child, gritted your teeth at the inequalities in that storyline and gamely ploughed on.

I can also add the cliffhangers I hate - the final shot of the Doctor's face as the chilling music starts to spiral. Ye gods, I hate that. Give me a gun going off, give me a nasty gate crashing behind them, give me a dolly-bird companion screaming - but please god not a close-up of the Doctor looking worried. I've worked it out for myself thank-you-very-much. Below are my personal favourites, not many McCoy, Davison or Troughton I'm afraid - but I've picked the ones I still never tire of, the ones I found the most dramatic..

10. Doctor leaping into the Pit, Creature from the Pit, ep 1

Yes, who would have thought it? The lumbering dinosaur that is Pit actually has two good cliffhangers and one OK one. The OK one is of course episode two where Erato tries to smother 'Mr Grin 'an curls'. Up to this point we think the creature is malevolent. All we have seen is the remains of everything it is killed - and now our hero is being crushed by it! Episode three is rather good as well and Myra Frances as Adrasta really camps it up as she screams while being lit up by the green light of Erato. It really works! But my favourite is one that is clear in my memory as a ten year old. The audience knows what's coming as Tom B gives the wink to Lalla Ward but it still doesn't stop the surprise off him grabbing the rope and jumping into the pit. And in time to the cliffhanger music the rope goes flying off the spinney and just runs out as the titles hit! Fabulous! Mind you, I'm probably the only one who thinks so..

9. Grendel of Gracht leering evilly, Androids of Tara, ep 1

To be frank the Androids of Tara bored me as a ten year old, I kept wishing for it to contain some big monster, some kind of Star Wars battle in space. I wasn't of the age to enjoy this 'Prisoner of Zenda' pastiche - I didn't want to watch him traipse around a planet that looked like a day trip to Canterbury or Oxford. However, from the vantage of age (which seems to be speeding by too fast for my own liking) I adore The Androids of Tara. The humour, costumes, pace, and story mean it is one of my favourites and since I always root for the bad guys I have to say my immense affection for Count Grendel of Gracht played by Peter Jeffrey, surely one of the best villains ever to grace Doctor Who. The final scene to episode one has the Doctor, Zadek and Farrah falling to the floor with drugged wine. Tom Baker, always the last on his feet with drink, struggles to the door and it opens to reveal the Count. Peter Jeffrey leers so evilly at the scene and his expression is of such diabolical cunning that I love it every time I see it.

8. Tomas blasting away, Face of Evil, ep 2

This is surprisingly effective. Two warriors of the Sevateem tribe Tomas (Brendan Price) and Chief Andor (Victor Lucas) take on the phantoms sent by their mad god Xoanon. The Doctor and Leela have already climbed into the time bridge and the rest of the savage tribe are facing of the psychic phantoms sent to destroy them. The Doctor has given Tomas a gun and attacking the phantoms reveals them for a brief second to have the face of Tom Baker. This is where it truly becomes an eerie tale as the audience now realises that the Doctor could indeed be the 'evil one' of legend. Chief Andor dies unconvincingly and Tomas is left just blasting away with a terrified expression as the credits roll. The tale is no longer simple, why has the phantom got the Doctor's face? Face of Evil becomes a many layered interesting adult story.

7. Mummies break into cottage, Pyramids of Mars, ep 2

Though I would say episode one has the more famous cliffhanger (Namin being killed by the avatar of Sutekh), I think I enjoy this one more. For one it is one of the best co-ordinated of the action scenes I've seen in Who. Usually the group action scenes are rather flabby but with this one each actor knows his stuff and it builds to a terrifying cliffhanger with Sarah being throttled by the robot mummy. But it is the preceding actions scene which I think is superb - the two mummies bursting in, the Doctor being knocked aside, Scarman missing with his gun, then finally one closing in on Sarah. Top marks - and all in the quaint Laura Ashley confines of the groundsmen's cottage with the birds singing outside.

6. Wirrn falling out of Cupboard, The Ark in Space, ep 1

The return of Doctor Who was commented on news at six the other day and a rather snotty female reporter quoted 'that the notorious bubble-wrap sfx would simply not be tolerated in 2004'. Well, more fool her - I find the Wirrn one of the most chilling of the Doctor's adversaries. The relentless march of these insects to use the last vestiges of the human race for pupae is utterly chilling. And episode one is a terrific exercise in suspense. Harry moves from one cupboard to another in an attempt to find a medi-kit. He almost casually opens the last one and a Wirrn falls right at the camera! The audience jumps a foot into the air.

5. Trapped by Drashigs in the marshes, Carnival of Monsters, ep 2

OK, OK - we all know the Drashigs are hand-puppets. But they are so scary... Personally I think it is the roaring scream they make as they hone in on their prey. And this one is a masterpiece of action and editing. The Doctor and Jo are stuck on Canvey Island, oops I mean fetid miasmic marshes inside Vorgs miniscope when the Drashigs get between them and the exit. The closeups on their faces are bad enough but it is given extra impetus by having Jo stuck in the mud of the marshes. Haven't we all had dreams where we are confronted by monsters and can't move. The subconcious of being helpless and exposed is explored here. If I'd have seen this in 1973 then the school week would have seemed a long while as I ticked off the hours until the next episode on Saturday afternoon.

4. Leela being eaten by Giant Rat, The Talons of Weng-Chiang, Ep 4

Leela never screamed. Not even when Mr Sin advanced on her with an evil looking knife, not even when she encountered a Fendahleen in the corridors of Fetch Priory. They had been saving her one and only scream for something special - and what could be more special then a giant carnivorous rat. The tension is built up for minutes beforehand as she sloshes through the darkened sewers of the East End. She looks especially helpless unarmed and just dressed in her underclothes. The director cranks up the fear by having the rodent make an extraordinary noise (I can't work out what it is, it sounds like a screaming bull..) as it hunts her through the sewers, so we know it is nearby. And when it finally gets her and brings her down - the shock is compounded by the terror of Louise Jameson. Leela was a warrior of the Sevateem, brave and fearless, but she cracks under this one fear - who wouldn't buckle with a giant furry cuddly toy gnoring away at your ankle.

3. Pod blooming near Sarah's arm, The Seeds of Doom, ep 4

Well, imagine a list of Top Ten cliffhangers without SOD. Hard eh? Too many here. Stangulation at the arctic camp, the rush of the Krynoid in the dark woods, the titanic monster looming over the house. But the one I choose is eerily creepy and once again involves good old Lis Sladen acting her little heart out. I think I've said it before somewhere but no one does fear like Ms Sladen. She's the most convincing actress at being scared there is - and what I find amazing is the implied cruelty in this scene. Harrison Chase bats aside Keelers objections with "I don't care. I must see what happens when the krynoid touches human flesh..." is chilling. This is top-notch horror as they hold Sarah's arm near the Krynoid pod as it quivers and starts to open...

2. The maggots crawl towards Jo, The Green Death, ep 4

In the human triangle that is The Green Death, there are some reasonable cliffhangers. Best of these is in the 'Nuthutch' with Katy Manning sitting there in an old nightie reading a book. Jon Pertwee has peevishly distracted her younger and better looking love interest and she sits sighing as a newly hatched famished giant maggot with fangs like Janet Street-Porter wriggles towards her. The music starts with a shot of her vulnerable back and we have to wait until the next episode to see whether the our heroine dies a horrible death. Funny, the best cliffhangers always contain the companions.

And the winner is....

1. Sarah encounters Morbius, The Brain of Morbius, ep 2

This is really a succession of images which blends absolutely seamlessly with the spiralling closing music to chilling effect. We all know the scene. Sarah, blind after being damaged by Maren's ring, hears a voice and descends the stairs in Solon's castle. Hidden in the dark is a tank of bubbling green liquid. The audience can see it, but she can't and the hands held in front of her confirm her helplessness. The camera pans to show a floating brain which starts scream. The brain becomes paranoid and hysterical and its shrill voice becomes ranting and insulting accusing her of coming from "the accursed Maren..". Sheer gothic horror - a wonderful piece of direction, acting and music.

Ten great unmade Doctor Who storylines by Mike Morris 3/3/05

We all like to think that Doctor Who can go anywhere and do anything. Fair enough; here are a few plots which have yet to be developed. If Russell T Davies wants to get in touch, tell him I'm available.

1. The Doctor promises his companions a holiday on one of the most beautiful planets in the universe. They get there and have a lovely relaxing fortnight.
2. The Doctor arrives on a seemingly primitive planet to find a group of colonists establishing themselves, in spite of the presence of the indigenous population. The Doctor discovers that the natives are every bit as savage as they appear, and a bloodthirsty bunch of cannibals to boot. Can the Doctor help the colonists wipe out these vicious gits before it's too late?
3. A rash of UFO sightings in southern England bring UNIT to a sleepy village to investigate. Shortly afterwards a strange man approaches them, claiming to be a traveller in time and space and demanding to see the Brigadier. It soon transpires that he's a random nutcase who's been hoaxing UNIT with a bunch of prank calls, and he's arrested and held secretly for six years under anti-terror legislation.
4. The TARDIS crew arrive on a utopian planet where everyone lives in peace and harmony. Soon the Doctor discovers that things are exactly what they seem.
5. UNIT is called in when a spaceship lands close to a small village in the English countryside. The aliens on board claim to have come in peace to set up diplomatic relations with Earth, and offer them the benefits of their technology. The Doctor is suspicious of their motives; however they've got no hidden agenda and everything works out well for all concerned.
6. A group of scientists are investigating a supernatural site that is said to be cursed. Locals speak of the return of the devil if the site is disturbed. The Doctor arrives and discovers the warnings are a load of superstitious bollocks and everything's perfectly all right.
7. An intelligent alien species is trapped in a war with humans in the near future. Caught in the middle of the conflict, the Doctor discovers that the humans are completely in the right and the aliens aren't interested in negotiation, so he helps the humans blow them all up.
8. The Doctor goes back to Gallifrey. Nothing much is happening and it's a really boring place, so he leaves and does something more interesting.
9. Earth scientists have discovered a new substance, which will give cheap affordable energy for the whole world. It's a great idea with no danger, nasty by-products, or side-effects, and the Doctor gives them a hand developing it.
10. The Daleks hatch an elaborate scheme to destroy the Doctor and take over some planet or other. They've decided out that messing around with plagues and ultimate weapons isn't productive, so they just arrive and start killing everyone. Only the Doctor can stop them, but they shoot him dead as soon as he shows up and go on to conquer the galaxy.

BBC Books top ten debut novels by Joe Ford 3/4/05

These days it is extremely rare to have a fresh author turning up in the schedules, Justin Richards clearly trusting the rough transition period of two novels a month to one to established Doctor Who writers. This was probably a wise move (with some old timers producing some of their best work yet) but it is always nice to have a fresh face in the novel range to see what their take on Doctor Who will be. Here is my personal favourites, the books by newbies that impressed me so much I was eager to see what else they would produce...

10) The Book of the Still by Paul Ebbs

One of the best factors of reading a first time author is that they try extremely hard to keep you amused and nothing could be more true than with Paul Ebbs' first and (so far) only foray into Doctor Who. Here is a book that is a bit sluggish in the plot department (the first two thirds take a good while to get going and when they do it's only a great deal of running about) but scores extra points in the prose department which is so fast-paced, so wacky, so loaded with perspectives, smells, sights and tastes that the book takes on a exhilarating style of its own that matches and in places suspecedes the oddball Dave Stone's approach. The regulars (the Doctor, Fitz and Anji) are at the top of their game, producing drama and comedy in equal measures and Ebbs gets their voices perfect, especially Anji who gets to be at her all-time bitchiest. Plus the book has a few phenomenal scenes that take the breath away including the dance routine involving the Doctor, Fitz, Anji and the villains, all dressed to the nines in a hugely expensive ball all within reach of each other, the Doctor making a paper tent out of the Book of the Still and the travels shooting through space in it and also the terrific realisation that the three dopey villains who have been chasing the regulars about throughout the book will become the callous Unnoticed creatures whose silent alien menace pervades the book. If only all Doctor Who books could have this much personality.

Debut plot: 6/10

Debut characters: 8/10

Debut prose: 10/10

Overall: 7/10

9) Relative Dementias by Mark Michalowski

There are some readers out there that still rejoice at the sign of further seventh Doctor and Ace books coming to print but I am not one of them. The patchy Robert Perry/Mike Tucker novels and Dale Smith's Heritage hardly wowed me but through some careful character work and with its intriguing plot Relative Dementias won me over. Once again there are some clear flaws as would be expected from a debut author, there is a prolonged stretch in the middle of the book where naff all seems to happen and some of the later twists lack believability but neither of these can tarnish what Michalowski achieves here. By stripping away the angst and reminding us that Ace was just an innocent explorer at the beginning, one who got off on the thrill of adventure and was behind the Doctor all the way she is palatable again, without going to the immature lengths other novelists do. I have always found stories centred on the elderly rather palpable, the distressing feeling of uselessness when you reach retirement age is explored well here and it makes for disturbing reading. The Scottish setting helps give the book some atmosphere (and odd that the seventh Doctor seems so at home here) and the book pulls a few aces that are entirely unexpected. Michalowski's writing voice is assured with just the right amount of humour and horror.

Debut plot: 7/10

Debut characters: 8/10

Debut prose: 8/10

Overall: 7.5/10

8) History 101 by Mags L. Halliday

One of the more promising debuts of recent years, Halliday's book is brilliantly researched and packed full of detail. Her subject matter, how our different perspectives of history changes it, is explored thoroughly and in the best set piece of the whole book Fitz gets to see the bombing of Guernica from three entirely different perspectives. The presence of Sabbath gives the book a good underlying menace and the double twist of who his agent turns out to be is both a clever piece of plotting and entirely unexpected. Where the book falls down is the prose, which as some have commented is a little dry in places and favours facts over character. Some scenes are excellently written, again mostly centred on the regulars (the Doctor, Fitz and Anji) who really get to see history at its ugliest but the numerous characters that pop up and depart might leaves readers not willing to put a great deal of effort into this bewildered or worse, bored. A shame because they would miss out on a fine climax which sees the Doctor freeing the chains that the Absolute has placed on peoples perspectives and restoring anarchy to history.

Debut plot: 9/10

Debut characters: 7/10

Debut prose: 5/10

Overall: 7.5/10

7) EarthWorld by Jacqueline Rayner

Few books have divided fans like EarthWorld with one side finding it the first EDA to have a sense of humour and treat its adventures in a light hearted manner and the other half who find it too silly and amateurish because of this. What truly shines out of Jac Rayner's first Doctor Who book is the emotions from her characters, especially the regulars (once again the Doctor, Fitz and Anji) who are given a slap around the face and forced to confront their pasts (the Doctor is frustrated at his memory loss, Anji is numb because of the death of her lover and Fitz is confused because he knows he is merely a copy of himself). The first half of the book is the weakest because it meanders for too long on the jokes (however since most of the jokes are quite funny it might not be such a bad thing) but the second half is much sharper, the back story of the President of New Jupiter punishing his daughters for the death of his wife and sending them insane although they did not kill her proving quite touching and not a little disturbing. Rayner's prose style is hugely entertaining, a real Bridget Jones type voice with loads of hilarious random observations but from a literary point of view it is not very professional. Flawed but interesting and in parts it is astonishingly good.

Debut plot: 7/10

Debut characters: 9/10

Debut prose: 7/10

Overall: 8/10

6) Casualties of War by Steve Emmerson

Another brilliant chapter in the Caught on Earth arc, this is a very quiet novel considering the fireworks to come but remains in the top of its game thanks to some sterling characterisation and vivid prose. Emmerson writes a horror story that doesn't try and shock you with gore and violence (see Mick Lewis' Rags later in the list) but he injects a growing sense of terror that after a time really creeped me out. The psychological angle is especially good with some harrowing scenes seen from the POV of a war veteran and the relationship between the Doctor and Mary Minett is sensitively handled to provoke the audience. What makes the novel work so well is the constant mind games between the Doctor and the sinister Dr Banham, how the Doctor winds him up consistently is great fun to read. Add in some horrific sequences later on in the book (the tree full of dead animals) and you have a cracking winter read, for a first time novelist this is terrifically atmospheric and gripping.

Debut plot: 7/10

Debut characters: 9/10

Debut prose: 8/10

Overall: 8/10

5) The Scarlet Empress by Paul Magrs

Few authors had a better chance to make such an impact with their debut novels than Paul Magrs. Given his first EDA was published during a period of crisis for the range, its mixture of fantasy and humour was just what the Doctor ordered. Strangely enough it is one of the strongest written of his Doctor Who books with the prose thick with detail and his plot enjoyably loopy and unpredictable. Paul clearly has a formidable imagination and unleashed a number of fabulous ideas, dipping into old fairy tales and dragging certain ideas into a modern science-fiction setting. Hyspero is a fascinating world full of colour, sights and smells and provides a stunning backdrop for the character piece. Introducing the unforgettable Iris Wildthyme to Doctor Who, some will say it is a good thing, others a bad thing... I think she is wonderful, a drunkard, meddlesome hussy of a Gallifreyan who hops around time and space in her rackety old bus causing mischief and mayhem. Her stories in this book, that mirror the Doctor's adventures with just a few details missing, are priceless.

Debut plot: 8/10

Debut characters: 8/10

Debut prose: 9/10

Overall: 9/10

4) Rags by Mick Lewis

Included on this list for one reason only, it is openly the most vile and fetid Doctor Who book ever written. With its penchant for gory death and getting off on the seedy, inhuman side of our nature, reading Rags makes you feel dirty and unclean. I love it. What a stink this novel kicked up with people outraged at its macabre tone, not a page goes by without some swear word or gruesome death or a cynical comment on human nature, it is one of the few Doctor Who horror books to generally deserve the title. It should be unthinkable to throw the innocent adventurers Jo and the third Doctor into this horror but it merely highlights the book's sadistic nature even more, the Doctor stripped of his trademark arrogance and wit and Jo turned into a drug-fuelled, violent bisexual. The prose is extremely vivid with many scenes jumping out at you by surprise. If you enjoy books that give you a punch in the gut and make you wake up and loathe the world... pick this one up!

Debut plot: 7/10

Debut characters: 8/10

Debut prose: 10/10

Overall: 8/10

3) The Suns of Caresh by Paul Saint

Another third Doctor and Jo title and a book, which everybody agrees, has flaws and yet everybody still seems to love. It is true the book runs off on a different tangent every few pages or so and never lingers on one plot enough to give the appropriate depth but that cannot take away from Saint's impressively entertaining prose style and density of ideas. It is the most SF driven in the BBC range for ages with so many fantastic ideas creeping in, the dead TARDIS, the vortex monsters, the locust-Leshe, the time fracture, the catastrophic TARDIS landing... the book lurches from one brilliant scene to another with a pace like lightning. There are some lovely twists (Lord Roche's shapechanging skills, Simon Haldane's unexpected death) and the last eighty pages lurch into a further and equally fun story with a bite your nails climax involving the shifting of a neutron star. The third Doctor is captured wonderfully, all the mannerisms correct and the right sense of heroism and it is terrific to see Jo in a book where she is allowed to be dynamic and resourceful and not just a dippy blond.

Debut plot: 8/10

Debut characters: 8/10

Debut prose: 9/10

Overall: 8.5/10

2) The City of the Dead by Lloyd Rose

Infused with a prose style so striking and dramatic and using all of its characters to their full potential, The City of the Dead is the most promising debut for ages and a book that bothers to be an actual novel rather than just a Doctor Who book. As an exploration of the eighth Doctor's amnesia it is a shocking horror novel, showing a man who is desperately lonely and torn up by his lost past. His recurring nightmares about Nothing invading his TARDIS to attack him are genuinely unsettling. For a novel that dares to make the Doctor seem so frail it is surprising how strong he comes across, his morals and emotions shining through like never before. The story is also a stunning mystery surrounding a water charm, ducking and diving through the wonderfully gothic and macabre streets of New Orleans and touching upon magic and mysticism in a way that is usually ignored by Doctor Who. There are some gorgeous characters, the cripple Thales, the pathetic villain Scale and the misguided policeman Rust... they all spring from the book as living, breathing people. Add in some wonderfully adult moments of sex magic and violence and you have a controversial but justifiably popular book that deserved to make Lloyd Rose a household name amongst Doctor Who fans.

Debut plot: 8/10

Debut characters: 10/10

Debut prose: 10/10

Overall: 9/10

1) Festival of Death by Jonathon Morris

One of the most popular Past Doctor Adventures and a well deserved reputation from a first time novelist who knocked the socks off his audience with this witty, intelligent and downright loopy mystery novel. There are too many good things to say about Festival of Death, the amount of very funny jokes that actually hit their mark, the way he perfectly captures the imagination of those season seventeen stories, his brilliantly accurate fourth Doctor, Romana and K.9. (who bring the story alive with their bubbly personalities), the rock-hard structure of the book which effectively tells its story backwards and allows the intriguing mystery to unfold, the wonderful secondary characters like the cowardly Metcalf who is outwardly all bluster but when it comes to the action is seen cowering under his desk, the tragic tale of the ship's computer ERIC who is put through emotional torture and sees his personality twist from happiness to suicidal misery... the book never stops giving. There is even the occasional scary bit. Of all the authors on this list Jonathon Morris was the one everybody wanted to see re-commissioned, his writing is crisp and clear and his story blew me away.

Debut plot: 10/10

Debut characters: 10/10

Debut prose: 9/10

Overall: 9/10

Top ten best performances by Peter Davison by Joe Ford 6/4/05

I think I must be going soft. Although the blame must mostly belong with Big Finish who are finally giving Mr Davison some worthwhile material I am finding my opinion of this foppish Doctor shifting a gear. He's still not in the top ranks, no sir, not by a long chalk but I don't think he is my least favourite Doctor any more. At his best I would rather watch Davison than McCoy, for a start he is a better actor but he is also more retrained, more complex and far less hysterical than Doc seven. After his superb performance in The Game I was tempted to go back and remind myself of his high points as the Doctor. If you're not a fan of the fifth Doctor I urge you to go watch/listen to these stories, they might not be the best written or directed but they certainly shine a bright light on this occasionally brilliant Doctor. Ten stories that show he wasn't just a lump of wood all of the time...

10) Loups-Garoux

I'm not the biggest fan of this story but I cannot deny the opportunity it offers to give the fifth Doctor something different to do. Much like the later eighth Doctor, this attractive incarnation is exploited for his youthfulness and attracts the attention of a lonely she-wolf. There are a number of sensitively scripted scenes between the Doctor and Ileana and even a "boys talk" moment between the Doctor and Turlough where they discuss love. Davison aces the scene where he stands up to Ileana's ex and challenges him to the right to her love and control of the werewolves. It is his reaction Ileana when she takes him as her husband that makes this so special with a pleasant nod to The Aztecs.

9) Planet of Fire

No seriously! It is another good example of the balance Davison achieved late in his run as the Doctor, a mixture of anger (confronting Turlough he feels is keeping secrets about his past from him), intelligence (his clever psychological dialogue confusing Kamelion's circuits) and remorse (his lost stare into space after he believes he has killed the Master). What's more Davison and Bryant (Peri) have marvellous chemistry with lots of smiles and witticisms (I love it where she cons him into travelling into the TARDIS) and Davison just seems so much more comfortable in the role than he did two years ago. Extra points for his horrified reaction to the public burnings at the end of episode two... nobody can portray naive horror better.

8) The Visitation

The first real glimpse that a mighty fine decision has been made hiring Davison. The script concentrates on what I feel would have been a far more effective role for the fifth Doctor throughout his entire run, an old man trapped inside a young mans body. He is snappy and rude and arrogant and yet still flashes the occasional gorgeous smile. Davison dashes about from scene to scene in his usual breathless manner but has real presence when he confronts the Terrileptil Leader and even manages to get a couple of cutting barbs off at Tegan (always classy...). It's a nice mix, the action man with added wisdom of years travelling, it is the first of three fantastic takes on this up'n'down Doctor by Eric Saward.

7) Snakedance

Just wonderful. Christopher Bailey makes up for Kinda totally with this stunning interpretation of the fifth Doctor. Never before has this Doctor been such a whirlwind of strong dialogue and panic, so much so that the Manussans think he is something of a raving loony. The scene where the Doctor and Nyssa try and decipher the pictograms is brilliantly exciting thanks to Davison's energetic acting and during his mental conversation with Dojjen in episode four he captures perfectly that anguished frustration he must feel being trapped inside such a young body and having to ask for help. Davison and Sutton (Nyssa) are an extremely watchable pair, without Tegan wedging between them the Doctor and Nyssa get to spend some quality time together and it isn't half as boring as you might think.

6) Resurrection of the Daleks

More quality material for the fifth Doctor from Eric Saward. The scene where he confronts Davros as his executioner is the moment this era has been leading to. JNT always said the Davison brought a wonderful vulnerability to the role but the scripts rarely took the opportunity to exploit it. Saward makes up for this delivery a double whammy. Davros' cruel assessment that the fifth Doctor is a moral coward is powerful and Davison just stares at him, frightened and afraid of the truth. Even better is his reaction to the loss of Tegan, he panics and begs her not to leave. He doesn't want her to remember him as the man who brought horror to her life. His quiet admission that he must change his ways could be Davison's best single line as the Doctor.

5) The Game

A shockingly good recent Big Finish production that puts the fifth Doctor in the uncomfortable position of facing a horrific massacre, surrounded by corpses and blood flying and being able to do nothing to stop it. His rage at the senseless slaughter is powerful stuff. The story also includes a brilliant moment where Nyssa as good as leaves the Doctor and he sensibly accepts her decision, as it is clearly an intelligent one. Davison seems to enjoy the material and remains on top form throughout, especially when he scoffs at arch villain Morian's threats to steal the TARDIS. This is a wise Time lord who has heard it all before.

4) Earthshock

Saward's best script for the fifth Doctor (although not his best script). Davison has often praised the story to the high heavens and it is easy to see why, he gets to emote like mad and do some genuine acting for a change. I love it when he dashes about the caves trying to disarm the bomb, a far more convincing man of action when the stakes are this high. There is a huge close up on his face when the Cyberleader orders the death of Tegan and he shifts through about four emotions in five seconds of footage. But nothing can top his silent horror at the climax when he fails to save Adric. Davison looks stunned and it is as though the Doctor finally realises that his younger, more dynamic self can make mistakes his previous selves would not. Unexpectedly emotional.

3) Spare Parts

I'm sorry I've got to join the crowd and admit this is still the best Davison audio yet. Marc Platt provides a meaty role for the Doctor, trying to prevent the genesis of the Cybermen and the joy of the story is he almost succeeds. This fifth Doctor is written intelligently, exploiting his past mistakes (Nyssa's vicious reminder of Adric's death) and aware that he can make a difference for the greater good. His torture scenes with the Cyber-planner (I forget what they are called, sorry) are acted to perfection, a compelling mixture of fear, defiance and wit.

2) Caves of Androzani

Bowing out on telly with complete glory here is a chance for Davison to scrape together all of his best attributes from his era (his snappy anger, his vulnerability, his ability to be swept with events rather than controlling them) and rolling them into an amazing final performance. It would be easy to call the fifth Doctor pathetic for being pushed around so much without fighting back but Davison plays the victim so well it is easy to sympathise with him. What's more the Doctor's determination to save his companion's life at the risk of his own is astonishingly heroic. Episode four sees a desperate man overcome some truly violent obstacles to rescue his friend. His quiet "Is this death?" at the climax is haunting, far better than Tom's exit and only time I was desperate for his to continue his role. Davison and Bryant once again have electrifying chemistry of the sort we haven't seen since Baker and Ward.

1) Frontios

Bidmead knew how to get it right. If he had script-edited the Davison years we could have been in for a real treat. The story harks back to the Hartnell era with the ship being forced down and the Doctor having to enlist the help of the locals to get him out of bother. Davison really plays on the "Not a word to the Time Lords" which adds a touch of danger to the tale. He's witty ("I got it cheap because the walk's not quite right"), rude ("Jolly good now you can rip them down again!"), angry ("What a marvellous response to the situation!"), playful ("No Gravis spare me the TARDIS!") and silly ("A touch of spin... howzat!"). You really couldn't tell he was the same walking yawn from The Awakening, the strength Davison brings thanks to some meaty dialogue is extraordinary and it remains his shining moment as the Doctor. A flawless performance in a very difficult role.

Alas these stories are also counterpointed by some less enthusiastic performances by Davison (but given the state of the scripts who can blame him?), moments where he seems like he can't be bothered. Steer clear of the following five...

5) The King's Demons

4) Four to Doomsday

3) The Awakening

2) Arc of Infinity

1) Terminus

The First Ten Doctor Who Stories I ever watched by Hannah Isaacs 16/4/05

This list is of course, subject to my rather ropy memory - I'm sure I watched more in my childhood but the terror I felt must have blotted it all out! I was a rather feeble child (was?!) and found Doctor Who a little too scary for my simple little tastes. I didn't watch it from behind the sofa - I did spend a year hiding under the covers in case the Daleks "got me." Since we lived in a bungalow, there were no stairs for protection (naturally, I did not believe my parents foolish suggestions that Daleks couldn't climb stairs anyway - these mighty monsters would have some way around this! And I was right too!)

1. Genesis of the Daleks. I actually don't remember any of this story at all, bar a fuzzy idea of Davros, the memory of inching towards the living room door away from the television screen and yet somehow not quite able to stop watching and two seconds of episode seven when the Dalek runs over the cables that blows up the incubator room. I was quite amazed when I watched it more recently and identified it as "That Dalek Story that scared me senseless as a child."
2. Planet of the Daleks. I remember much more of this one and seem to remember quite enjoying it (ignoring that pesky fear of the Daleks which had subsided slightly at that age). For some reason, most of my memories seem to be from episode three and they all seem to be in colour, despite the fact that when I watched it, it must have been in black and white. I suspect that I mentally coloured it in because "all Doctor Who is in colour." Those innocent days! I also vividly remember the bit where the Dalek cuts through the door - until then I'd thought a closed door would keep me safe at least!
3. The Green Death. The first story that I actually managed to watch all the way through without missing an episode. This one scared me too but not as badly as the Daleks did. I vividly remember all the men covered in glowing green stuff - so vividly in fact that I was rather surprised when I rewatched it and realised that it didn't look quite as hideous as I remembered! I didn't remember the Mike Yates subplot at all, but I remembered BOSS very clearly and very fondly, if not 100% accurately. I remembered the rather nasty fly (it was less wobbly in my memory) I remembered being seriously upset when Jo left at the end; apparently I helpfully informed my mother that "She was my favourite of all the Jos." And I think it should be mentioned that as a child, the bad special effects didn't even impinge on my memory - I always remembered the carting scene as being really scary!
4. Pyramids of Mars. This one I just found on the telly when I turned it on to watch something else! That was when I was slightly more cynical - I don't remember any nights of lying petrified in the dark, waiting for mummies to get me anyway! This one is more fuzzy in my memory though - I mostly just remember one unwrapped mummy (both Scarmans had faded from my memory utterly however), someone getting strangled by a mummy and then quite a bit from part four (which I recently discovered on the end of my Animals of Farthing Wood video!)
5. The Movie. I suppose this one DOES count - technically anyway. I watched this one with my Mum and we both hated it - I seem to remember the motorcycle chase scene inspired both of us to say "It's not proper Doctor Who." (which leads me to wonder exactly how much of the Pertwee era my mother actually watched!) I have since rewatched it but I still don't like it very much, although not quite for the same reasons. I was amused to discovered that the petulant child in me had managed to completely repress all of the kisses and in fact, most of the plot! (mind you, given the plot ... )
6. Terror of the Autons. This was about five or six years on from the movie when my interest in Doctor Who was reignited by the BBC having a Doctor Who Night. So I nipped over to a friend's and borrowed his collection and being as I remembered being very fond of the Third Doctor and Jo, I watched this one first. At the time, I thought that this was my first introduction to the Master (The Movie made SUCH an impact!) and decided that he was totally the coolest villain ever. My crush on Roger Delgado's Master so far remains unabated and I still snigger whenever I remember the line "He just sat on this chair here and slipped away."
7. Claws of Axos. Yay, more Master! I seem to recall being rather confused by this one when I first watched it but I liked it anyway. I think it was the first story where I began to realise that I actually LIKE the wonky special effects in Doctor Who - the Axons made me hoot with joyful laughter. The last line also made me laugh a great deal although I actually didn't really understand it at the time, given that I didn't quite know why the Doctor was stuck on earth anyway!
8. Spearhead from Space. Okay, so I should have watched this one before Terror of the Autons but I didn't. Probably a good thing really, as I prefer Terror of the Autons. Spearhead from Space bored me a little - I just wasn't gripped by what was happening. Although I loved watching the Doctor in a post-regenerative state cuddling his shoes! I really ought to rewatch this one, my memory of it seems to have become "Doctor regenerates, amusing scenes with Brigadier and Liz Shaw, other things happen, Autons gun people down in the streets, big green octopus thing, the Doctor wins and is informed that he can't keep the car he stole!"
9. The Invasion. The first black and white story I ever watched. My first experience of Patrick Troughton, who quickly usurped Jon Pertwee and became my favourite Doctor of all time. My first experience of Jamie McCrimmon, who has since become my favourite companion ever. (well, until I met Turlough anyway - the jury is now out) It was also my first experience of the Cybermen and I have to admit, they were vaguely scary, even to me in my advanced and deeply cynical age. Excellent story, good introduction to so many elements. And my friend won't let me buy it off him. (Not that it matters - it's been about a year and I haven't given it back yet!)
10. Doctor Who and the Silurians. The title for this one ought to be banned. The HELL? Probably the stupidest title for anything ever. Anyway, apart from that, I enjoyed this one. The scenes with the plague in London scare me more than any of the monsters do - I'm VERY glad I didn't watch that one as a young child! Mind you, this fear did me a service - disturbed by watching people die of the plague, I couldn't be bothered getting up to turn the telly off as the episode ended and wound up watching my first ever episode of Due South. Well, I think it's a good thing! Other than that, the story is exciting (if possibly over-long) and the Silurians make excellent villains.